About The Baldock Bard.

In 1997 a scruffy untalented poet started to write verse for the Baldock Car Boot Sale adverts in the local papers on a four week trial. Before long his attempts at verse was being discussed in bars across the South East of the UK. A regular buyer at the car boot sales was in his local pub in Barnet when he heard two men at the bar discussing a car boot poem they had read in the local paper by someone they called 'The Baldock Bard' (after the town where the car boot sale was held). From this moment on, the un-named verse-writer was known far and wide as 'The Baldock Bard'.He lives in a cave carved into a hill just outside Baldock in Hertfordshire, living off the land. He is addicted to Cheeselets, Twiglets and Cola and has a long-suffering wife, a granddaughter, a daughter, a son-in-law, two dogs, geese and chickens

It’s a dogs life!

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I was looking through some recent photos and came across one that made me think. It came as a shock to suddenly realise that the dogs in this household don’t worry about anything. They have no worries about money, accommodation, jobs or clothes and have the ability to make their humans worry about them, even apologising to them if their dinner is late.I so want to be a dog…

She sits contented on the settee,
no real problems at all has she.
She sleeps with contentment every night,
only worries about what’s in her sight.
She often wonders ‘when’s my meal?’
no other troubles imagined or real.
As for housework she doesn’t care,
the sofa’s covered in her hair!
She’s so superior she doesn’t talk
sits by the door when she wants a walk!
If I had a choice a dog I’d be
…but only if my owner was me!

Have a great day and may all your worries evaporate!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

 

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Droning On!

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Yesterday two young ladies visited the farm from a famous farming publication to find out how and why I fly a drone. They were very patient with an old man and listened as I attempted to explain. Then we went out to a field where they ‘took to the skies’ and the drone behaved itself impeccably. I had forgotten how terrifying it is to be interviewed and may have ‘droned on’…

Two young ladies,
came to my home,
so they could discover,
how to fly a farming drone.
They were polite,
and didn’t ignore,
the bluster of a pensioner,
a proper droning bore!
We then adjourned,
out onto the farm,
where they tried flying,
with no sense of alarm.
Later as I sat,
in my father’s hospital room,
I decided there were worse ways,
to spend a sunny afternoon!

With thanks to Lucinda and Hannah for their remarkable patience!
I hope everyone has a great weekend – be kind to a pensioner, even when they drone on!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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My Disruptive Drone Demon!

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Today I’m entertaining a journalist who wants to know about drone-use in agriculture and I’m running scared! Technology has the capability of letting you down at the most inopportune moments and despite immaculate preparations and training, it’s always best to expect the unexpected. I am convinced that there is a little demon who lives inside my drone, I call him ‘Landin’…

‘Landin’ lives inside my drone,
in a wire-like structure he calls his home.
At random moments he can deliver,
unexpected problems that make me shiver!
Some months ago I can’t think why,
he took control made it “no fly!”
As trees appeared in its flight path,
I could hear his screeching demonic laugh.
You’ve got all ready for a flight,
‘Firmware Upgrade Needed’ it’s just not right.
If someone’s watching (not a show),
a helicopter appears flying low.
So my fingers are crossed for today,
I just hope the little demon’s away!

What my little demon hasn’t yet appreciated is that I had good training thanks to Sion and the good guys at RUSTA (https://www.rustauas.com) and so whenever anything goes wrong I’m prepared, even if it results in a CVCS (Controlled Vertical Crash Solution!).

Have a great day and I hope your little demon stays away from whatever you’re doing today!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

 

 

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Cleaning Hospital Windows!

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For over a week I’ve been attendant at a hospital bedside. I’ve seen at first-hand the best of the NHS, dedicated nurses and doctors doing their very best to heal under difficult circumstances. There are times during visiting when the only option is to look out of the window; this prompts the mind to wander…

I’m glad I don’t have to clean windows at the hospital,
I could never care like a nurse,
I always faint at the sight of blood,
which would end up making everything worse!

Stay healthy and safe and enjoy your day!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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Monday Morning Butterflies!

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The other day I was in a northern town and next to a car park was a large bougainvillea bush in full flower. I stopped to take a photo, it was only then that I noticed it was covered in butterflies, most notably Red Admirals…

Bougainvillea blooms on an Alnwick street,
a peaceful sight to make my day complete,
I find it strange that butterflies don’t ever make a sound,
just work in silence so they don’t disrupt those around.

So this Monday morning,
as we chase our distant prize,
let’s do it with a sense of peace,
just like the butterflies!

May your Monday be peaceful, safe and silent!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD


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Goodbye Rowan

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This Saturday, in South Africa, a gentle lady fell asleep. Those of us who were lucky enough to meet her will always hold her in our hearts…

There’s an extra-bright star above the Veld tonight
as the lioness sleeps with her gently purring cubs,
and we as mere bit-players in a global scene,
mourn the passing of a favoured sister, aunt and friend.

Sleep well Rowan.
Thank you for being you,
and sharing so many smiles with us.
Your infectious giggle will remain in our hearts for ever.

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

 

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The Magical Lend!

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On Friday afternoon I hurried home from visiting my father in hospital and rushed up to the big barn. I admit I was like a little kid! There in the barn was a wonderful sight: a big green combine harvester! This harvest has been difficult following the loss of the arable acres, but to see this sight in the barn made me feel a bit like a proper farmer again! Ok, I’m only storing it for a neighbour until his wheat has gone, but it’s a grand feeling…

There in the barn,
I can’t believe my eyes,
a large green Claas Combine,
it’s like winning first prize!
I know it’s only for a while,
going back I don’t know when,
but I can imagine for a week or two,
that I’m a proper farmer again!

Big things please little minds!
Thanks to neighbour John for the temporary loan!
Have a great weekend everybody.
If I’m missing you know where I’ll be!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

 

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The Journey (2018)

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Recently I visited the Holy Island of Lindisfarne, off the coast of Northumberland. In the church there was a woodcarving called ‘The Journey’ by sculptor, Fenwick Lawson (1999). It is carved from seven elm trees and to be quite honest, I found it a bit spooky as it seemed to me to be a stark reminder of our mortality…

There is a time to be born,
and a time to die.
A time to ask ‘How?’
And a time to ask ‘Why?’

If we ponder,
on the time of our fate,
we’ll end up doing nothing,
until it’s too late.

“That’s rather morbid!”
I hear people say,
so if you’re vertical and breathing,
enjoy your today!

Stay healthy, happy and safe and do it today!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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Our Wonderful NHS!

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On Sunday I returned from holiday (reports of the Bard’s demise had been exaggerated!). I immediately went to see my elderly father and discovered him with a badly infected foot. This resulted in a Monday A&E day and much waiting for tests etc. I’m not very good with medical stuff and the terminology tends to confuse a simple soul like me…

Sitting waiting in Ambulatory Majors,
surrounded by doctors with bleeping pagers!
In a room with adjustable bedding,
Emma, a nurse, (I’d tractored her to her wedding!)
Overworked staff back and forth they zoom,
no wonder they call it the Darting Room!
Confusing terms wouldn’t have been complete,
without a sign to the ‘Fluoroscopy Suite!’

The staff and service trumpet success:
We’re so lucky to have the NHS!

Have a great day and stay safe and well

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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Cherry and Ian

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Without people, this would just be another rock in space.

There are some people who’s mere presence can make your day and make you smile.

Cherry and Ian seem to have always have been visitors to our Saturday car boot sales, whenever I met them there was a cheery “Hello Simon!” and a quick story, more often than not concerning their latest exploits in their world of vintage cars. Cherry had recently taken over as an office-holder in their vintage motor club and they never seemed to miss either a meeting, rally or event.

On Saturday 11th of August, they came to the car boot sale earlier than usual as they were off to a rally. Sadly, on the way to that rally, somewhere near Oxford, they were involved in a collision and tragically, Cherry lost her life.
When my son was killed in similar circumstances, the first time that I saw them afterwards, Ian mumbled and Cherry simply held my hand in a gesture full of the utmost kindness and concern. She always thought of others first.

Ian is now back at a local hospital and is making a recovery, how he’ll cope without his true soul-mate I can’t even consider. They were such a well-matched pair that it is inconceivable to think of one without the other.

I consider myself truly privileged to have known them.

They will be sorely missed on a Saturday morning.

Simon (aka Baldock Bard)

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