The web of pearls

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Yesterday morning I went out to the car and there on the door was a beautifully intricate spiders web that had captured rain drops overnight. Sadly it is a sign that the weather is preparing to change seasons and the warm days will soon be a memory…

The spider spins her wonderful web,
between the wing mirror and the door,
a reminder that the days are shorter,
and winter will soon be here once more.
There may still be a few sun-filled afternoons,
that summon a final warm hurrah,
but autumn is here the leaves are falling,
and a web of pearls strung on my car.

Have a Happy Thursday and enjoy the last few mild days!

© Baldock Bard 2018
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The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
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LAST SALE THIS SEASON
THIS SATURDAY
20ththOctober 2018

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Italian Belles!

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When I found this picture in an archive file, I knew that I had to use it one morning. Taken fifteen years ago, it can only be Italy! A sheep farmer here in the UK would never think of being without wellies and a cap and his sheepdogs would be Collie-dogs, his sheep straight from Shaun The Sheep. There would be one other noticeable difference, the soundtrack…

Sounding like a Swiss episode of Ski Sunday,
when the local hero swishes down the course,
the massed bells of these continental sheep,
are to be found above Naples of course!
Not a collie to be seen for miles,
but large dogs to fight off wolves and the like,
no pub but a local taverna,
what’s here for a tourist farmer not to like?

If you’re a sheep farmer, may the sun shine on your day. If you’re not, why not enjoy some wonderful British Lamb.

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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Mister Right!

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My granddaughter was six yesterday. As I am now very old I’m allowed to use phrases like: ‘I don’t know where time has gone!’ and ‘it seems like only yesterday!’ However one thing I do know is that, in the quest for her affections, I shall never compete with her wonderful, loving and caring Monkey…

My granddaughter’s monkey was six yesterday,
as usual he was by her side,
he has mittens instead of fingers,
but his eyes are open wide!
He’s been her constant companion,
since that day six years ago,
and despite the passing of the years,
he never seems to grow!
All children deserve a protector,
to guard them in the night,
for that her monkey has been perfect,
her original ‘Mister Right!’

Have a great weekend with your ‘Right One!’
We all need a Monkey in our lives!
© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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The Spider Substitute!

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This morning I wrote a very good verse (or so I thought!). I had rushed downstairs before seven and quickly typed it out onto my laptop. Alas normal ‘morning procedure’ interrupted my progress and I forgot to press ‘save’. I returned to a blank screen and a dog full-stretch on the keyboard. Luckily I had met someone in the bathroom who saved the day…

A spider called Sharon was in the shower tray,
I went to remover her, she said “Hey!”
she shrugged her eight shoulders and said “Whatever!
You think you can remove me I say ‘Never!’”

She ran around the shower and hid behind the plug,
then made a great leap and landed on the rug,
ran up the wall and onto the light,
gave me eight fingers and disappeared from sight!
Later this morning there she was there once more,
she stuck out her tongue and raced across the floor,
into an empty toilet roll ready for the bin,
I said, “I’ve got you now, you’ll have to give in!”
I went to the window to throw the loo roll out,
she leapt onto my shoulders, this made me leap about!
My arms flailing like a windmill, a terrible sight to see,
“You can live anywhere you like but not on me!”

Have a great day. Try to avoid angering any female with more than four legs and always save your work before the dogs get onto the table!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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The Dangers of Peanut Butter!

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One of the downsides to living in the countryside in autumn is the annual migration of mice into the house from outside. Not only are they odorous and irritating in the larder, but they make a tremendous racket underneath the floorboards. While some may disagree with using mouse traps, it is instant, unlike poison which kills slowly sometimes taking hours to achieve its objective and then leaving behind a rotting smell for days. In the last week we have disposed of over twenty, sometimes two or more to a trap, knowing my luck I’ll return in the next life as a mouse…

Three Dancing Mice
don’t they have fun
they dance behind the skirting boards
sounding like the ravaging hoards
swinging wildly to the musical chords
Three dancing mice

Three dancing mice
they no longer swing
tempted by some peanut butter
“A wonderful smell!” one did utter
a snap and then a disbelief stutter
Three dead mice

Stay safe out there and avoid peanut butter at all costs!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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The Harbour Date!

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Recently I was wandering along a harbour when I spotted two pigeons sitting in a rowing boat. Nothing odd in that you might think, ‘Pigeons in a boat? See it every day!’ For some time it has sat on my desktop and I was getting bored of looking at it! So there was just one way to get rid of it and that was use it this morning. Sorry…

Peter and Pauline
went on a date,
Pauline was early,
Peter was late!

“Good of you to get here!”
Pauline announced,
then turned on her heels,
and off she trounced!

“I’ve arranged something special,
there’s no need to gloat,
come and join me,
we’re going on a boat!”

“Well, this is romantic!”
Pauline perched on the seat,
it’s no ocean liner,
and there’s nowhere to eat!”

Just then a sandwich,
thrown from the pier,
“Just what do you call this?”
“BLT my dear!”

If you’re on a date today, avoid a rowing boat and sandwiches!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

 

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One of These…!

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One of these is not like the rest. We have a small white duck on the farm who suffers from ‘Species Confusion’. Wherever the geese go, there is a small Jemima Duddlepuck following on behind. When the geese honk, there is a quack to be heard in there as well. She is one confused little duck, perhaps she needs counseling…

We have a duck,
who think’s she’s a goose,
she suffers species confusion,
may even think she’s called Bruce!

When she tries to be friendly,
they squawk and they hiss,
but she never gives up,
she’s one determined little Miss!

Enjoy your Thursday and remember there’s no shame in being different – We all are!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

 

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It’s a dogs life!

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I was looking through some recent photos and came across one that made me think. It came as a shock to suddenly realise that the dogs in this household don’t worry about anything. They have no worries about money, accommodation, jobs or clothes and have the ability to make their humans worry about them, even apologising to them if their dinner is late.I so want to be a dog…

She sits contented on the settee,
no real problems at all has she.
She sleeps with contentment every night,
only worries about what’s in her sight.
She often wonders ‘when’s my meal?’
no other troubles imagined or real.
As for housework she doesn’t care,
the sofa’s covered in her hair!
She’s so superior she doesn’t talk
sits by the door when she wants a walk!
If I had a choice a dog I’d be
…but only if my owner was me!

Have a great day and may all your worries evaporate!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

 

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The Bathroom Duck!

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Recently my five-year-old granddaughter gave a present for the bathroom. It is rather a fine duck that has acquired the name: ‘Bathroom Duck’. Unfortunately we haven’t heard it speak or sing or seen it dance, but we are ever hopeful…

Bathroom Duck,
is full of luck,
as she sits beside the soap.
She wants to say,
that today,
will be a day of hope.

At dead of night,
when stars shine bright,
she sings a merry song,
I haven’t heard,
a single word,
but maybe I am wrong!

Have a lucky day full of hope and resolve!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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The One-Cat Protest!

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Whenever my daughter and her family pack their motorhome for a few days break, their cat, Min, stages a one-cat-protest. It’s as if she’s been listening in to their conversations and is determined to disrupt their get away or even stowaway…

“They are going to climb into that tin house with wheels,
and leave me behind they don’t know how it feels,
I have used many novel ways in the past,
this one might be effective at last!
I shall sit upon the step by the door,
trip them up so they drop their clothes on the floor,
then when they think I’m back in the house,
I’m in the camper van as quiet as a mouse.”

“…But then I purr, I might as well wail
and I’m out on my ear – yet another fail!”

Have a great weekend and if you’re travelling check for feline stowaways!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

 

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