The Big Match!

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There are people who are fed up with the hot weather, but at the Baldock Saturday Boot Sale we love it! As an added bonus, because the gates open for sellers at 0630hrs, the heat of the day is yet upon us. But tomorrow many will ignore the heat at 3pm when a certain match kicks off in Russia…

It’s cool to boot at Baldock,
before the heat of the day,
the sellers set their stalls out,
many buyers (they don’t pay!)

Tomorrow we won’t mention ABBA,
meatballs or IKEA,
at three their stores may empty,
it’ll be football with a beer!

If things go wrong in Russia,
and England are knocked out,
let’s pray there isn’t trouble,
like throwing plastic chairs about!

Have a great weekend and enjoy the match!
See you the other side of the weekend!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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‘Snappy’ to the Rescue!

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Last week the GDPR regulations came into force for businesses in the UK. As far as I was aware, the only information we stored for the car boot sales was a list of mobile numbers. Therefore I sent out a text that included the following:
‘All we have is a list of mobile numbers stored on an i-Phone which is kept at night in the cage that holds our pet crocodile, Snappy, and we will never ever give your number to anyone else because you are our friend’
From texts received it would seem that Snappy has a number of fans out there, but even if he’s not real, it can do you good to keep your very own ‘Snappy’ in reserve…

If you’ve ever dealt with complaints before,
and not wished to hear just one word more,
what you need are some sharp teeth,
a trap door with a croc beneath!
Even if this croc isn’t real,
pretend it is and better you’ll feel,
reach for that lever in your mind,
and leave the complaints far behind!

He may squeal,
He may shout,
but you have let,
your ‘Snappy’ out!

Have a great day and don’t let those complaints get you down!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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A Farmer’s Straight Rows!

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Towards the end of every week from April to October I can be found in a 10 acre field on the outskirts of Baldock riding a small ride-on mower! If I had £1 for every time in the last 26 years where some wise joker has asked me what I was doing in such a large field with such a small mower I could retire to the West Indies! However it is an integral part of preparations for the Saturday car boot sales…

You grow more potatoes,
when the row isn’t straight,
I guess the same goes for containers,
and other types of freight!
But at a car boot sale,
if the lines are all obscure,
customers are unhappy,
and I end up ‘in manure!’
So every week,
between April and October,
I try to mow straight lines,
(have to do it when cold sober!)
They all say it’s easy,
to run a car boot sale,
but let me assure you,
there are many ways to fail!
…and one of them is crooked rows!!

Have a great weekend and if you’re mowing a lawn, enjoy keeping the rows straight!
If you’re anywhere near Baldock, come and have a look for yourself (details below!)

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober  2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

 

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The Problem with Lowest Cost Airlines!

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Taking into account problems with low-cost airlines recently, two resourceful sellers at the car boot sales decided to give DIY flight a try. The take-off area was cleared of stalls, children and animals, the local airport control tower was informed and the two intrepid flyers prepared for take-off…

“We’d like to go to Portugal,
but anywhere will do,
so long as the wind doesn’t change
and we end up in Peru!
Are you prepared for take-off?
have you stashed the duty-free?
I can feel the ground is moving,
is that power lines I can see?”
Just then a mighty gust of wind,
(pre-flight checks complete)
and the tarpaulin took off without them,
All they could shout was “SHEET!”

With grateful thanks to Team Fairfield for their humour and joy!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

 

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The Last Bootsale!

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It is not yet 5am on a Saturday morning and I am preparing to leave the warm kitchen to go down and open up the car boot sale for the last time this season. Some may view this with a tinge of sadness, however I can’t believe that I’ve been doing them for so long! Over 40,500 sellers and an estimated 800,000 buyers have visited over the years and we’ve held over 650 sales! Hey Ho! Hey Ho! It’s off to the Bootsale I go…

They’re queuing in the dark at the bootsale,
eager to get in and sell,
hoping that the weather will hold out,
and that they will do well.
The buyers are still asleep,
tucked up in comfy warm beds,
but in cars and vans in the farmer’s field,
treasure from garages and sheds!
Around the bootsale this morning,
the end of out twenty-fifth season,
“Happy Christmas” will be the greeting,
and friendliness will be the reason!
May I be the first to wish you all Happy Christmas (only 72 days early!)

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

LAST SATURDAY MORNING THIS SEASON!
Season Ends 14
th October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Sunrise!

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I was going to write a long diatribe about the wonderful sunrise last Saturday morning just as the car boot sale was opening. I was going to marvel at nature’s light-show and how the birdsong echoed around the field. Perhaps I might even have mentioned the rabbits and hares that were seen stretching as they arose from their slumber ready to face another wonderful day. However, I took one look at the photo I took and decided that words on this occasion were just superfluous and for once in my life I should shut up…

Enjoy the photo!

Have a great weekend with the ones you love and stay safe. BB.

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
Season Ends 14
th October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Droning on at the Boot Sale!

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Last Saturday in unusually glorious weather, I overflew the car boot sale with my trusty Mavic Pro drone (following the regulations to the letter of course as my licence is more precious to me that a good photo). Afterwards I received varied comments from “Playing with your toy again I see!” to “You checking up on us from a different angle!”. I struggled to explain that I use it mostly for work and so gave up and agreed that it was great fun as well as being useful (it also helped that it was sunny and the field was full)…

Saturday, September the second,
summer has reached us at last,
Farmer Giles has his drone in the sky,
if it crashes he’ll say “Damn and blast!”

A few sellers have noticed,
they point to this thing in the sky,
others approach with a question,
“Tell me: What or Where or Why?”

Then come out the stories,
“A mate once had one of those,
it chased his girlfriend round the garden,
until she tripped and fell on her nose!”

“There’s one came over our house,
it won’t be coming no more,
I scored a direct hit with the hosepipe,
it came down on the roof next door!”

I did a perfect landing in the car-park,
away from all bar me,
“I wanted you to crash it!”
a seller said with great glee!

“You call yourself a pilot,
I have no wish to be rude,
but you ain’t a proper live pilot,
‘cos there’s no stewardess serving food!”

Have a great day and if you’re going flying make sure there is a drink and food available and stay safe!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

 

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A Ferocious Passenger!

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One amazing part of running a car boot sale, apart from the people, is that you never know what you’ll find on sellers stalls. I thought that after twenty-five years, 657 sales and over 40,000 stalls, I’d just about seen all there was to see and would no longer view ‘unique’. That was until last Saturday when I dropped by on a stall to collect the pitch fee…

“There’s a tiger in your van,
looking out at me,
I do hope it’s been fed,
not eyeing me up for tea!
I don’t suppose you get,
many break-ins to your van,
I bet the last who tried it,
screamed before he ran!
Oh! it has been fed this morning,
I’m much relieved at that,
next time you may consider,
bring a smaller type of cat!”
This is dedicated not just to two sellers with a great sense of humour, but also to friend Geoff, whose real-life job this week is picking up a real tiger from an airport!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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The Saturday Alarm!

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This morning has been all go-go-go! The sheets and duvet ganged up on me and with the help of the alarm clock conspired to make me wake up half an hour late! Therefore the deadline to get down to the field in Baldock to open up the car boot sale had crept too close for comfort. However despite some minor setbacks I seem to have made it on time and thanks to the wonders of ‘Hotspot’ I’m writing these words ‘live’…

The clock in the car says six-eighteen,
I’m almost ready (or should have been),
if I don’t soon open the gate,
there’ll be a chorus of “Ooh, you’re late!”
So I can’t sit here chatting to you,
must get on – ‘Toodle-oo!”

I apologise for the lack of quality this morning, but needs must when the Devil drives. Have a great Bank Holiday Weekend!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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The Early Morning Sky!

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It is strange how some mornings the weather forecast leads to expectations which then don’t materialise. I was expecting pouring rain at 04:30 this morning. I had convinced myself that the early alarm call would be wasted and instead of running my car boot sale, I’d be able to slope off back to the confines of the warm duvet! The sky told a different tale…

I love the early morning sky,
it fascinates me, heaven knows why!
It holds such promise in many ways,
a glimpse of future happy days!
The forecasters promised heavy rain,
a wash-out boot sale, what a pain,
opening the curtains I look out and see,
a wonderful sight facing me!
Hardly a cloud stains the view,
everything is dry, the morning new,
and I can’t slope back off to bed,
but face a dry sunny day instead!

Whatever you’re up to today and wherever in the world you find yourselves, may you enjoy your day and stay safe.

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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