When the answer is chips…

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Recently I did some tree trimming with son-in-law John. He is a wiz with a chainsaw and I hoisted him up in the cage on the front of the JCB Loadall to cut some low-hanging branches. My father planted these trees, hoping to make a fortune, but alas he didn’t anticipate the decline of the humble match! Job done, I stood back looking at the mess we’d made and not looking forward to clearing up…

John’s in the cage,
taking branches down,
buzz, buzz, buzz,
they’re falling to the ground!

We’ve made a mess,
all over the track,
how are we going to clear it,
so we can make our way back?

I’d never used a chipper,
no idea what it could do,
but in a short while,
it had returned the view!


Have a great weekend and don’t forget to have chips with it!

 © Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
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Twitter: @baldockbard

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Hot Wires!

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Yesterday I wanted to check out how close some trees were to the power cables in a field. Firstly I used my eyesight, which has never been that great at judging distances! Then I had an idea and fetched my drone from the car…

Flying close to electric wire,
just like playing with fire!
but I had to have a a go,
not just for the picture you know.

I was dismayed to see,
the wires so close to a tree,
I won’t get the saw out,
but give the power company a shout!

…I was soon on the phone,
all thanks to my faithful drone!

I apologise for the poor quality of today’s verse, but it seemed a shame to waste such a good picture! Have a great day and stay away from the wires.

© Baldock Bard 2018
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Twitter: @baldockbard

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Slow You Down!

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Mrs Bard and I have just returned from a short break in Norfolk on the East Coast. It is said that anything that outsiders find strange is ‘NFN’ or ‘Normal for Norfolk’! It is very rural and farming still plays a large part in the economy. I’ve always found the natives to be friendly and far from being slow (despite some alternative road signs)…

Slow you down!
before the bend,
or your journey,
may sudden end!
Muddy roads,
a village (sweet),
what’s in the road?
Only sugar beet!

Have a great day and find some time to ‘Slow You Down!’

© Baldock Bard 2018
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The Giant Chef!

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Flying my drone recently I happened to overfly some trees on my way back to the launch site. On reviewing my photos later, some of the trees looked very different from above and so I took off again to go and investigate further…

A giant chef has dipped,
some of our trees in turmeric,
then shaken off the excess,
in an attempt to humour it.

Will he now fry them?
I’m not sure if he can,
but one thing I know,
it would take one enormous pan!

Never in the field of rhyming verse have so many liberties been taken in so few lines!
Have a great day and I hope your endeavours turn out better!

© Baldock Bard 2018
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Twitter: @baldockbard

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The Two Terriers!

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We share our house two terriers, Mati and Mali (pictured at table above!). Living with two dogs can be hard work. So long as you understand that you are in their home for one purpose and that is to provide for them and do as instructed, there will be no problems! Our two even let us go out on our own sometimes un-chaperoned. However there is always a price to pay…

We share our house with two dogs,
they have a say in what we do!
We are ‘their humans’ at beck and call,
I’m afraid it’s true.
Sometimes they treat us very well,
so long as we comply,
at other times they ignore us,
no matter how hard we try!
I wouldn’t want to disturb them,
in the mornings I wouldn’t risk it,
but to get their attention at any time,
I just have to whisper “biscuit!”

Have a good day, and if you have a dog in your life: ‘woof, woof grrrr!”

© Baldock Bard 2018
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The Photogenic Swan!

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There are some photo opportunities that just happen, but only for a split second. Last Sunday evening, while relaxing by the river, watching the sun go down and getting outside a can of Guinness, such a photo presented itself. I grabbed my trusty i-Phone and here is the result…

Sunday evening,
nursing a glass of beer,
looking at the river,
when a swan did appear.
I thought it was unlikely,
a picture I could take,
the sun was in my eyes,
a decision I had to make!
Snap, snap, snap, snap,
blindly I pressed the button,
on the small phone screen,
(for suspense I am a glutton!)
When at last I saw it,
on a computer screen,
I had to admit,
one of the best I’ve ever seen!

A very lucky shot!
(or rather not bad for a ‘Point and Squirt Merchant!’)

© Baldock Bard 2018
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The Old Oak Tree!

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The other day I took my trusty drone for a walk around the wood.The evening sun was just setting and it gave everything a red glow. The autumn colours were just about done on most tees, although the old oaks were still hanging onto their leaves in defiance of the colder days…

The old oak tree,
is bathed in red,
some would say,
“She’s ready for bed.”
Others would say,
“she’ll soon naked be,
and furthermore,
it’s only a tree!”
There is one thing,
that should be said,
“By the time she dies,
we’ll have been a long time dead!”

Most of us are blind to the beauty that surrounds us.
Take a look around you today, you may be surprised!

© Baldock Bard 2018
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Twitter: @baldockbard

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The November Rose

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I had an email from one of my readers asking if I was well, as my poetic postings had suddenly dried up three weeks ago. The cause for the sabbatical was my father’s death at the age of 92 after a lifetime enjoyed and well lived. Earlier this week, while having a bit of a tidy-up before my father’s funeral, I came across a lonely-looking rose in the garden…

The deck chairs are gathering dust,
the barbecue’s put away,
the sun casts long dark shadows,
Winter is on its way.

The last colour in the garden,
a single rose (of colour bright),
fighting against all odds,
twixt coming frost and darken night

There is a time for us to die,
that is how life’s cycle goes,
some bow out with a burst of colour,
just like this November rose!

Stay healthy and safe and enjoy life!

© Baldock Bard 2018
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Where is the De-icer?

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This morning sees the first sharp frost of the winter. The clocks went back yesterday and so it’s now de-icer time. I could have sworn it was in the car…

Where did I put the de-icer?
I could have sworn it was in the boot,
I’ve an important meeting at work,
don’t want to get ice on my suit.
I remember it well in the summer,
it was here when it was so hot,
I haven’t a cassette case to scrape with,
If I’m late I may lose the plot.
The kettle is empty of water,
my coffee used the last drop,
there’s no salt in the cupboard,
I may have to run to the shop!

I went to look in the garage,
on the shelf there was a new can,
my wife had bought it while shopping,
she knows I’m one useless man!

Hope your scraping of the windscreen was successful and your day is lucky!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
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The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
RETURNS AFTER 27 YEARS!
First Saturday after Easter 2019

Buyers will still Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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The Breakfast Crew!

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Saturday saw our final Baldock car boot sale of the 2018 season. While many customers moaned about finding something to do next Saturday, others remarked on the cold early-morning temperature at this time of year. This didn’t seem to worry our catering team who were busy over a hot plate and urn making breakfasts…

Grant Linda and Gemma,
worked hard in the catering van,
it’s great to see Grant is still with us,
he was so poorly for such a big man!

I wonder what they’ll do next Saturday?
Will they enjoy a lie-in in bed?
or will they not be able to sleep,
still on ‘boot-sale-time’ instead!

When they go to put on the bacon,
will they try to fry the whole pack?
and suddenly realize there’s no reason,
as the clocks have only just gone back!

Come the Saturday after Easter,
once again they’ll be back at the sale,
and everyone will be happy,
with ‘out of season tales’ to regale!

With many thanks to Grant, Linda and Gemma. Wishing all customers and staff at the boot sale a very Happy Christmas!
https://www.thechefshotplate.co.uk

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
RETURNS AFTER 27 YEARS!
First Saturday after Easter 2019

Buyers will still Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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