The Politics of Silence

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Last week at the Baldock car boot sale a seller was selling picture frames. He used one to make a valid political observation. I’m not fond of any politician and I found myself agreeing with his message…

Where were all the Euro-MP’s,
before we had the vote?
I can’t remember a single one,
saying anything of note.

Do you know the name of your Euro MP?
Do you know what they’ve achieved?
Their silence is truly deafening,
leaves ordinary voters aggrieved.

They’ve got their seats on the gravy train,
don’t care about you and me,
what they do in Brussels we’ll never know,
it’s politics you see!

Am I interested in these parasites?
“Hell no!” is what I say!
I’d exile them all to Elba,
with not a euro of severance pay!

Have a great week and let’s just pray for some common sense, for all our sakes!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
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The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
LAST SALE THIS SEASON
THIS SATURDAY
20ththOctober 2018

Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
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The Amateur Plumber!

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Most farmers are, through necessity, ‘Jack of All Trades!’. They can turn their hands to most things in an emergency, mostly so long as it involves baler-twine or gaffer tape! I try my best, I never tough electrics, however have been known to tackle small plumbing jobs. Yesterday the taps ran dry in the house and so I replaced a ball-cock in the attic…

I’m a very amateur plumber,
I’m not a plumbers mate,
I can sometimes mend a water leak,
before it is too late.

But sometimes I leave it,
“I’ll sort that out sometime!”
and water drips through the ceiling,
and yes! The fault is mine!

This time all went smoothly,
praise caught me unawares,
then I went and spoilt it,
the ladder’s still upstairs!

May you shower be warm and your taps never drip!
Have a great Friday and weekend

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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Not Trying Too Hard!

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The realisation struck me sometime yesterday that yesterday’s posting was not exactly the finest advert for my drone-flying or photography skills! So I looked back in my archives to find a more realistic example! I suddenly realised that it takes luck as well as skill. The harbour authority in Wells next the Sea have used it as the cover for their 2018 Harbour Guide…

To take a good photo with a drone,
takes a fair bit of luck,
if you haven’t got it,
you might as well quack like a duck!
On holiday in Norfolk,
I had an idea,
(it was in November,
and they don’t have a pier!)
They were digging out the harbour,
a 360 on a barge,
then emptying out to sea,
far from la plage!
I sent out my drone,
to watch it empty in the sea,
the picture turned out perfectly,
no-one surprised more than me!

May your day go better than expected

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

 

 

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Trying Too Hard!

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Last night I sent up my drone to take the perfect sunset picture. Now I’m a simple ‘Point and Squirt’ photographer who relies on the maxim that if I take 100 photos, then one may possibly be OK…

I sent up my drone to capture the sunset.
I tried different altitudes,
I tried different filters,
I tried different camera settings,
I tried different headings,
then I gave up.

On my way to fetch a takeaway later,
I stopped at the end of the drive,
took out my iPhone,
and ‘click!’
took the picture above.

No editing,
no tricks,
no fancy gadgets.

…Sometimes in life we just try too hard!

Have a great day and may you have the luck you deserve!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD.

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Italian Belles!

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When I found this picture in an archive file, I knew that I had to use it one morning. Taken fifteen years ago, it can only be Italy! A sheep farmer here in the UK would never think of being without wellies and a cap and his sheepdogs would be Collie-dogs, his sheep straight from Shaun The Sheep. There would be one other noticeable difference, the soundtrack…

Sounding like a Swiss episode of Ski Sunday,
when the local hero swishes down the course,
the massed bells of these continental sheep,
are to be found above Naples of course!
Not a collie to be seen for miles,
but large dogs to fight off wolves and the like,
no pub but a local taverna,
what’s here for a tourist farmer not to like?

If you’re a sheep farmer, may the sun shine on your day. If you’re not, why not enjoy some wonderful British Lamb.

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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Mister Right!

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My granddaughter was six yesterday. As I am now very old I’m allowed to use phrases like: ‘I don’t know where time has gone!’ and ‘it seems like only yesterday!’ However one thing I do know is that, in the quest for her affections, I shall never compete with her wonderful, loving and caring Monkey…

My granddaughter’s monkey was six yesterday,
as usual he was by her side,
he has mittens instead of fingers,
but his eyes are open wide!
He’s been her constant companion,
since that day six years ago,
and despite the passing of the years,
he never seems to grow!
All children deserve a protector,
to guard them in the night,
for that her monkey has been perfect,
her original ‘Mister Right!’

Have a great weekend with your ‘Right One!’
We all need a Monkey in our lives!
© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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The Spider Substitute!

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This morning I wrote a very good verse (or so I thought!). I had rushed downstairs before seven and quickly typed it out onto my laptop. Alas normal ‘morning procedure’ interrupted my progress and I forgot to press ‘save’. I returned to a blank screen and a dog full-stretch on the keyboard. Luckily I had met someone in the bathroom who saved the day…

A spider called Sharon was in the shower tray,
I went to remover her, she said “Hey!”
she shrugged her eight shoulders and said “Whatever!
You think you can remove me I say ‘Never!’”

She ran around the shower and hid behind the plug,
then made a great leap and landed on the rug,
ran up the wall and onto the light,
gave me eight fingers and disappeared from sight!
Later this morning there she was there once more,
she stuck out her tongue and raced across the floor,
into an empty toilet roll ready for the bin,
I said, “I’ve got you now, you’ll have to give in!”
I went to the window to throw the loo roll out,
she leapt onto my shoulders, this made me leap about!
My arms flailing like a windmill, a terrible sight to see,
“You can live anywhere you like but not on me!”

Have a great day. Try to avoid angering any female with more than four legs and always save your work before the dogs get onto the table!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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The Farmer’s Wheelbarrow!

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I have to admit I see gardening as a chore not a pleasure. This is rather disappointing as I have inherited rather a large area to tend along with numerous antique topiary hedges that seem to need constant attention. This results in large amounts of clippings to move. I have a secret weapon, my ‘Farmer’s Wheelbarrow’…

Do farmers make good gardeners?
I really can’t see how,
they’re used to mechanized everything,
even to milk a cow!
So when I’m in my garden,
my wheelbarrow is large and yellow,
from the path passers-by laugh,
“look at that farmer fellow!”

Have a great day and enjoy the beauty of the garden!
(Preferably with a drink in hand!)

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

 

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Like a Bird (in the Sky)!

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Many years ago, back in the early seventies, there was a TV advert for a lighter bread called Nimble. The advert had a nubile young maiden (probably now in her mid-seventies!) floating in a hot-air balloon to a backing track by pop group Honeybus ‘She flies like a bird in the sky…’ I was reminded of this yesterday morning when the farm was overflown by a balloon sponsored by a very different company…

She flies like a virgin in the sky,
I’d like to fly with her I don’t know why!
Her large voluminous skirt,
Would well match my shirt,
as we go gently floating by!
Up there in the sky – clear blue,
I’d wave back down to you!
She’d offer no resistance,
(she never goes full distance),
as we’d go gently floating by!

Have a great Friday and weekend. Stay healthy, wise and safe!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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The Dangers of Peanut Butter!

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One of the downsides to living in the countryside in autumn is the annual migration of mice into the house from outside. Not only are they odorous and irritating in the larder, but they make a tremendous racket underneath the floorboards. While some may disagree with using mouse traps, it is instant, unlike poison which kills slowly sometimes taking hours to achieve its objective and then leaving behind a rotting smell for days. In the last week we have disposed of over twenty, sometimes two or more to a trap, knowing my luck I’ll return in the next life as a mouse…

Three Dancing Mice
don’t they have fun
they dance behind the skirting boards
sounding like the ravaging hoards
swinging wildly to the musical chords
Three dancing mice

Three dancing mice
they no longer swing
tempted by some peanut butter
“A wonderful smell!” one did utter
a snap and then a disbelief stutter
Three dead mice

Stay safe out there and avoid peanut butter at all costs!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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