Mister Right!

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My granddaughter was six yesterday. As I am now very old I’m allowed to use phrases like: ‘I don’t know where time has gone!’ and ‘it seems like only yesterday!’ However one thing I do know is that, in the quest for her affections, I shall never compete with her wonderful, loving and caring Monkey…

My granddaughter’s monkey was six yesterday,
as usual he was by her side,
he has mittens instead of fingers,
but his eyes are open wide!
He’s been her constant companion,
since that day six years ago,
and despite the passing of the years,
he never seems to grow!
All children deserve a protector,
to guard them in the night,
for that her monkey has been perfect,
her original ‘Mister Right!’

Have a great weekend with your ‘Right One!’
We all need a Monkey in our lives!
© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
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Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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Droning On!

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Yesterday two young ladies visited the farm from a famous farming publication to find out how and why I fly a drone. They were very patient with an old man and listened as I attempted to explain. Then we went out to a field where they ‘took to the skies’ and the drone behaved itself impeccably. I had forgotten how terrifying it is to be interviewed and may have ‘droned on’…

Two young ladies,
came to my home,
so they could discover,
how to fly a farming drone.
They were polite,
and didn’t ignore,
the bluster of a pensioner,
a proper droning bore!
We then adjourned,
out onto the farm,
where they tried flying,
with no sense of alarm.
Later as I sat,
in my father’s hospital room,
I decided there were worse ways,
to spend a sunny afternoon!

With thanks to Lucinda and Hannah for their remarkable patience!
I hope everyone has a great weekend – be kind to a pensioner, even when they drone on!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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Goodbye Rowan

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This Saturday, in South Africa, a gentle lady fell asleep. Those of us who were lucky enough to meet her will always hold her in our hearts…

There’s an extra-bright star above the Veld tonight
as the lioness sleeps with her gently purring cubs,
and we as mere bit-players in a global scene,
mourn the passing of a favoured sister, aunt and friend.

Sleep well Rowan.
Thank you for being you,
and sharing so many smiles with us.
Your infectious giggle will remain in our hearts for ever.

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

 

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Our Wonderful NHS!

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On Sunday I returned from holiday (reports of the Bard’s demise had been exaggerated!). I immediately went to see my elderly father and discovered him with a badly infected foot. This resulted in a Monday A&E day and much waiting for tests etc. I’m not very good with medical stuff and the terminology tends to confuse a simple soul like me…

Sitting waiting in Ambulatory Majors,
surrounded by doctors with bleeping pagers!
In a room with adjustable bedding,
Emma, a nurse, (I’d tractored her to her wedding!)
Overworked staff back and forth they zoom,
no wonder they call it the Darting Room!
Confusing terms wouldn’t have been complete,
without a sign to the ‘Fluoroscopy Suite!’

The staff and service trumpet success:
We’re so lucky to have the NHS!

Have a great day and stay safe and well

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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Cherry and Ian

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Without people, this would just be another rock in space.

There are some people who’s mere presence can make your day and make you smile.

Cherry and Ian seem to have always have been visitors to our Saturday car boot sales, whenever I met them there was a cheery “Hello Simon!” and a quick story, more often than not concerning their latest exploits in their world of vintage cars. Cherry had recently taken over as an office-holder in their vintage motor club and they never seemed to miss either a meeting, rally or event.

On Saturday 11th of August, they came to the car boot sale earlier than usual as they were off to a rally. Sadly, on the way to that rally, somewhere near Oxford, they were involved in a collision and tragically, Cherry lost her life.
When my son was killed in similar circumstances, the first time that I saw them afterwards, Ian mumbled and Cherry simply held my hand in a gesture full of the utmost kindness and concern. She always thought of others first.

Ian is now back at a local hospital and is making a recovery, how he’ll cope without his true soul-mate I can’t even consider. They were such a well-matched pair that it is inconceivable to think of one without the other.

I consider myself truly privileged to have known them.

They will be sorely missed on a Saturday morning.

Simon (aka Baldock Bard)

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The Bookworm!

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Recently a thread posted by author Terry Tyler on Twitter asked: “What makes you a bookworm?” I answered, “… when you can assemble Billy bookcases by Ikea without looking at the instructions or having to search for that rather strange ‘Allen-type’ key because the kitchen drawer is full of the little critters.” However despite my rather facetious answer it made me consider my reading habit…

What would we do without ‘BILLY’?
What would we do without books?
They take less space on a Kindle,
function doesn’t always replace good looks!

For a change I picked up a paperback,
it was strange to go analogue,
couldn’t locate the page-turning button,
and no backlight was like reading in fog!

It’s so easy to buy on the internet,
download and whoosh it is here!
But it’s not the same as a bookshop,
heaven help us if they disappear.

Enjoy a good read today or better still support your local bookshop and buy a book!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

http://www.countrytrust.org.uk

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It’s All In The Photo!

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The other day I was asked by a local farmer to survey one of his fields with my trusty drone. I was hoping to find any evidence of land drains that might show up in this drought. I overflew the field for over 40 minutes and began to feel a failure when I could see no evidence on the monitor. Back in my office I started to stare at the high-definition pictures praying for some sort of success in order to save face! I then remembered a story that an elderly friend told me back in the mid-eighties about his war-time experience with an aerial photograph…

In 1944, just before ‘D Day’, Andrew, a young inexperienced officer in the Engineers, was asked to deliver a package to the Photo Reconnaissance department. He was shown into a room and told to wait. On a large table there was a massive black and white aerial photo of a main-line railway track leading to a large junction. As a teenager, Andrew had spent his summer holidays in the West Country, as a bored only child he had been befriended by the local stationmaster who had taught him about railways, not just in the UK, but also on the continent. Out of interest he began to look at the photo. Suddenly he noticed something odd, various bridges had been removed and one of the tracks had recently been moved to allow a greater distance between the up line and the down line. What he’d noticed was the alteration of the rail network in northern France in order to accommodate Rommel’s Tiger tanks on their way to where the Germans thought the Allies would invade – the Pas Du Calais. This also proved that the propaganda had been successful and accepted by the Germans as fact. He was immediately posted to intelligence, where he spent the rest of the war, in his words: “Looking at photographs!”

Andrew taught me that in photographs the evidence is always there to see, you just have to see it! I remembered Andrew as I sat starring at pictures from 400ft of a field and very slowly lines began to emerge and they weren’t tractor wheel marks!
Thank You Andrew.
Normal service will be resumed tomorrow!
© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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The Very Special Delivery!

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Saturday was a truly golden day for our JCB Fastrac tractor, she was delivering a very precious cargo to a venue between Hitchin and Letchworth. Paul, (the father of bride Emma) looked after our pigs until the mid-eighties and he, Jen his wife, Andrew, Mandy, Mark and Emma lived in a cottage down the road. Emma is an A&E nurse and was an absolutely gem when my mother died. Like so many in our wonderful NHS, she was so caring and made all the difference at a very difficult time. Wild horses wouldn’t have denied me the honour of driving her to her wedding…

Emma got married Saturday morning,
Oh Wow! The sun is gonna shine!
A deciding factor,
She’s going on the tractor!
Gotta get her to the venue on time!
…with many apologies to lyricist Alan Jay Lerner who wrote ‘I’m getting married in the morning’ from the show My Fair Lady.
…and many thanks to Emma and hubby Paul for letting me be a small part of their big day. Remembering with fondness Emma’s sister Mandy, who I’m sure was looking down on her family with pride and love.

Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

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Twitter: @baldockbard

 

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History re-visited!

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I was photographing a historical site the other day that can be traced back 1000 years with my trusty drone (with 20thC drought-scorch and wheelmarks!). It’s amazing what detail a dry year can show. Some of the adjacent ponds (not shown in the picture) date back to Bishop Odo of Bayeux (William the Conqueror’s half-brother.) He is the only person to be in the Bayeux Tapestry twice, once sitting on Williams right hand and once exhorting the troops he supplied to fight harder….

The Bayeux Tapestry is coming back,
to Britain in a couple of years,
Old Bishop Odo will have his day,
again (or so it appears!).
I wonder what he’d have thought of my drone,
as it flew above his old land,
and whether his soldiers would have shouted ‘Alien’
or just hidden themselves in sand!
What would they have thought of planes in the sky?
of take-aways, burgers and that?
I bet they’d have troubles with their weight,
unable to fight – just too fat!
If they couldn’t fight William might have lost,
with Harold no arrow in his eye,
the French would have retreated back towards France,
all because of chips and steak pie!

With apologies to al historians for my take on accepted history!
Please blame the Guinness – I will!
Have a great weekend, stay safe and take care.

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

 

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The Undercover Cyclist!

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Have you ever taken a photo that when looked at later seems to convey a different story to the one envisaged at the time? The above photo shows a pleasant group of retired folk playing pétanque on a village green, all is well in their world until you notice the cyclist…

The SAS (cycle division) were undercover,
on a training exercise,
merging in with some old folk,
who showed no sign of surprise.
He radioed in to headquarters:
‘All’s fine I haven’t been seen!
I’m about to eat my rations,
sitting on the village green!’
Suddenly there was a commotion,
a player dropped a ball on his toe,
he yelled out the emergency word,
you should have seen the cyclist go!

With apologies for the quality of todays verse, must remember to take stronger tablets and drink more water! Have a great day and don’t drop anything heavy on your toes!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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