Bank Holiday Paperwork!


Form FillingOn Sunday I spent another seven hours struggling with BPS ( the government’s complicated new agricultural claims procedure). The high point of the exercise was speaking to Jill on their helpline -YES! Open on a Sunday! Although I asked questions that would not have been out of place in a primary classroom, she was very patient and led me by the hand through some very complicated regulations. However three hours later something was missing…

Has anyone seen 1.8 hectares?
It seems to have vanished from sight,
It was certainly there yesterday morning,
It must have gone away overnight!
I have worn out a calculator,
My brain sees figures no more,
I’m suffering a lack of sunlight,
Will have to get out of the door!

It’s now Bank Holiday Monday,
And I’m ready to go once again,
I think I’m almost on top of it,
Compared to last year it’s a pain!
I’ve got a secret weapon,
That just could save my life,
She’ll check out all of my figures,
It’s what is known as a wife!

A Farmer’s Wife – Every farmer should have one. In good times and bad, in poverty and wealth, in lambing and shearing, in planting and in harvest and in calculations and form-filling!
With thanks also to the kind folk at the Rural Payments Agency who are working so hard to help administer an ill-conceived and over-complicated claims proceedure that’s not of their making, while dealing with often fraught farmers with genorosity of spirit and kindness.

© Baldock Bard 2015
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