While shopping in M&S recently I watched a very ernest man of a certain age carefully place his purchases on the belt at the checkout. My immediate, rather uncharitable thought, was: ‘I hope mummy reminded him to put his vest on this morning!’ My second guess was correct, he did indeed have a small leather horseshoe-shaped purse…
Ernest shops in M&S,
Mummy told hIm for success:
“Always wear clean underwear
In case taken ill when you’re out there!”
“You will never be embarrassed
Whether London, Rome or indeed Paris!”
So Ernest always tries his best,
To wear clean pants and pristine vest!
Occasionally Ernest gets a date,
They see his vest and it’s too late!
They can’t look at his white tummy,
So quite content he returns to mummy!
With many apologies to Ernest’s everywhere!
English to American English translation: ‘Pants’ in this context mean knickers not trousers! However ‘Ernest’ would never say knickers without breaking into a nervous tittering girlie-giggle! His mother would not approve of such frivolous language!
© Baldock Bard 2015
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