How Not To Buy A Tea Service!


Everyone knows that car boot sales are renowned for customers haggling over prices. It can be something that makes me cringe, particularly when I watch an experienced haggler take an inexperienced or nervous stall-holder to the cleaners. Very occasionally the tables turn and the persistent barterer comes up against a brick wall or in this case a tea service.

When I arrived at the man’s stall it was obvious that the bartering had just passed phase-one where the prospective purchaser had just asked the price of a particularly attractive, complete and unblemished, everyday tea service.

The barterer ignored the seller’s request for £5 and had chosen to start at 50p.

Now it should be noted at this point that it would seem that some customers, seem to have a limited grasp of values at car boot sales, that they are only able to mutter “50pee”.

The seller stood his ground and replied “five pounds”

To which the customer replied “50pee”

Just when it looked like someone needed to put in a call to ACAS, the arbitration service, to resolve the dispute, the customer raised her bid to “75pee” thus dumbfounding all those within earshot.

All seemed lost when the seller stubbornly stuck to his original price.

With perhaps more hope than stubbornness or perhaps the buyer just liked to try out the new phrase, the Prospective buyer suggested 75pee for a second time.

With a resigned shrug of his shoulders the seller turned, reached into his car boot and fetched out a hammer.

The crowd took a surprised step back and with more force than I thought necessary, the man brought the hammer down on the tea service which shattered into a thousand pieces.

Smiling a sweet smile he turned to ‘50pee’, whose mouth hung open with surprise, and grinning, said in a sweet a voice you might use on a small child or cuddly lamb, “now have the ‘effing thing for nothing.”

Give that seller a coconut!!

Please take care and stay safe.
We hope to be back with you before too long
Very best wishes
Farmer Giles (aka Baldock Bard)