Mrs Bard despairs of me often and can be heard calling me a pillock (an ancient British term of endearment I think!). Last night I lay in the bath reading my Kindle. I had returned to a favoured part of a book written by Ben Hatch. In the chosen section, desperate Home Secretary Teresa May, steals the scene along with a filthy turtle cage. On previous occasions it had made me chuckle, this time it produced full-blown laughter! This merriment was silenced when my beloved Kindle decided to join me in the warm waters…
I lay in the bath before a meeting,
Using toes on taps to adjust the heating.
Holding my Kindle above the foam,
Was a foolhardy move I should have known.
I started to laugh at author Ben Hatch,
When the Kindle slipped and made a splash!
Uttering words a-plenty that I didn’t ought-a,
I fished the poor Kindle out of the water.
It coughed and spluttered didn’t seem right,
But at least there were words and the beaming light!
I went off to chair the Parish Meeting,
With the reader drying on the central heating.
So read Ben Hatch if you want a good laugh,
But I would suggest you keep clear of the bath!
Postscript: The Kindle is out of intensive care, is fully dry and has been awarded its Bronze swimming badge!
The P45 Diaries by Ben Hatch are available on Amazon
© Baldock Bard 2013
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