The Fraudulent Farmer!


I feel like a fraud. Yesterday and this morning I have taken up valuable NHS time in our local hospital when I don’t feel ill, nor do I have anything broken! Yesterday (as a bit of a  joke because they’d borrowed a machine and knowing my love of anything sugary) Mrs Bard and Daughter Bard gave me a blood-sugar test. Apparently according to those in the know, the result should have read between 5-6, therefore the 28.9 set alarm bells going and I found myself frog-marched to A&E in very short order, despite feeling fine and normal…

It was as if it wasn’t me,
lying on a bed in A&E!
Never before have I given a blood sample,
I suppose at least I have an armful.

As a farmer the sight of blood makes me faint,
as an amateur patient brave I ain’t!
The things that always amaze me still,
the bravery of others who are seriously ill.

The nurse and doctors in the blue-curtained stall,
age creed or race they’ll treat them all.
Of course it is Britain’s greatest success,
Our wonderful and vital NHS.

So it looks as it’s goodbye to old abusive friends such as fizzy drinks, doughnuts, wine gums and Wagon Wheels.
With thanks to all the caring professionals at the Lister Hospital, Stevenage for their patience and care.

© Baldock Bard 2017
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