The Missing Tractor!


Chained TractorA few weeks ago I came across an old Massey-Ferguson tractor chained to a lamppost. It reminded me of foolish ways when I was young: Many years ago when I was just 15 and had just passed my tractor driving test, I ‘borrowed’ a tractor from the farm. I had a friend to stay and decided to use my newly-acquired qualification to transport us both to the local pub. Needless to sat the excursion ended badly…

“Let’s take some transport up to the pub!”
I said to my friend from town,
We can drive there via the lanes,
Much quicker than walking around.

We took the tractor from the shed,
As cool as cool can be,
Five minutes later we were sat in the pub,
The time was 7:03!

Within two hours we’d sunk some pints,
and were heading for the floor,
I said to my friend who was slurring his words
“We’ve enough time for a few more!”

On the way out we clung to the door,
So we didn’t fall outside,
We walked down the lane in a dreadful state
We’d only forgotten our ride!

We arrived at the farm covered in mud,
Our head and knees were sore,
We’d fallen in a ditch in a field,
We couldn’t drink any more!

The following day having suffered all night
At breakfast my old man said:
“I cannot believe the tractor has gone,
I’m sure I left it locked in the shed?”

I looked at my friend he’d turned white,
I remembered in a flash where it be,
So despite feeling bad I ran to the pub,
There it sat: unlocked, with the key!

© Baldock Bard 2013
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: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard