Parents who have downloaded the app: DAUGHTER, are advised to install this latest update. This includes a short guide to dealing with a new virus that could turn your lovely, beautiful, charming darling into a snarling spiteful monster when a particular ‘software’ request goes unheeded…
Various methods to diagnose the presence of ‘WANT PUPPY!’ in your daughter:
- Drop the word ‘PUPPY’ into conversation …Observe reaction.
- Unveil picture of ‘PUPPY’ …Observe reaction.
- Check internet browsing history for ‘PUPPY’ …Observe reaction.
- Check cellphone for message including ‘PUPPY’ …Observe reaction.
Don’t fall for light discussion regarding ‘PUPPY’, it is dangerous and could lead to…
THE NEXT STAGE
These vital signs shouldn’t be missed:
- The Plea: “Can we go and see a PUPPY?”
- The Excuse: “We don’t have to have the first PUPPY we see!”
- The Bluff: “We’ll just be looking at PUPPY!”
It is important that before you go to “just look” at PUPPY you check for unusual signs:
- For the first time ever there is a hidden blanket in the car and snow is not forecast for the next few months.
- Tins of food with PUPPY on the label have appeared in the cupboard next to the breakfast cereal.
- PUPPY MONTHLY suddenly appears on the mat alongside the daily newspaper.
- The neighbours have started erecting a dog-proof fence.
- The council sends six men in high-vis to attach a dog-poo bin to the lamppost outside your house.
- Old newspapers have been hoarded in the garage rather than being put out with the recycling.
Ignore these vital signs at your peril as ignorance could lead to…
THE FINAL OUTCOME…
You find yourself with
ONE OF THESE…
© Baldock Bard 2016
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