When I Am Old I will Not Wear Purple!


CharioteerWhen I am old I will not wear purple – I shall have a mobility scooter instead! Everyone better watch out when this bad-tempered pensioner takes to the streets or more importantly, the supermarket! It won’t be long…

I was minding my own business,
Shopping in a far-off town,
When all of a sudden from nowhere,
A scooter ran me down!
Now I’m not complaining,
That some folk need these things,
But suddenly their size has grown,
Next they will have wings!
I picked myself up from the floor,
My shock didn’t linger,
The next thing that the pensioner did,
He gave me the finger!
I just can’t wait,
Until my turn arrives,
I’ll arm it like a chariot,
Watch folk run for their lives!

It should be noted that the charioteer in the picture is just a serving suggestion and not the guilty party!
With apologies to the famous poet Jenny Joseph for paraphrasing her wonderful poem’s title. ‘When I am an old woman I shall wear purple’ is one of my all-time favourite poems.

© Baldock Bard 2015
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The Baldock Boot Sale
Returns Saturday April 11th 2015

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