There are many advantages of living in the countryside. Naturally there are also disadvantages that the estate agents never mention. Perhaps the greatest of these can be found hiding at the bottom of many rural gardens and it’s not a fairy! Many country dwellers can only dream of the convenience and ease of that Utopian delight that urban dwellers take for granted, mains drainage…

There’s something growling at the bottom of the garden,
It’s oozing some horrific sludge,
The draining rods have failed to clear it,
The smelly unmentionables refuse to budge!

But I know some modern-day warriors,
Their blue tanker-chariot leads the fight,
Even though it’s now raining,
They will put the situation right!

“Honeywagon to the rescue!”
Lead the charge with extended hose!
Advancing with some powerful sucking,
All the effluent suddenly goes!

So if you live in an urban jungle,
You’ll never meet these noble men,
Who rescue countryfolk from ex-stink-tion,
Then with a flush they’re gone again!

With greatest of thanks to the Honeywagon Company for their tireless battle on our behalf against the overflow! The Honeywagon Company can be found at http://www.honeywagon.co.uk

© Baldock Bard 2013
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