The Local ATM gets the Botox Treatment!


The New ATMI visited the foyer of my bank yesterday morning to take out some cash. Facing me was a new machine that had lights, a large screen and an evil stare. I looked around to check that the coast was clear (50 miles away the coast at Southend was bathed in bright sunshine!) and advanced towards the alien-being brandishing my card. Half expecting the late Jeremy Beadle to spring out at me, I pushed my card into the little green mouth. It worked just like the old one! Cash received I turned, looked the security camera and gave its cycloptic eye my best ‘devil-may-care mk1’ shrug. Piece of cake…

There’s a new ATM at the bank,
It’s one of the latest kind,
It has wing-mirrors,
so when it delivers,
You can see who’s lurking behind!

What will it do in the future?
Will it also check our weight?
You’ve gained a pound,
put it on all round,
Your life insurance invalidate!

And when you do your shopping,
Don’t think that you can cheat!
The machine hits back,
you can’t buy crap,
It monitors what you can eat!

So when you next visit the ATM,
Smile and compliments pay,
Because you don’t know,
how far it’ll go,
And get you in trouble some day!

© Baldock Bard 2013
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: Baldock Bard
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