D-Day

Posted on June 6, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

According to historians, the run up to June 6th 1944 was accompanied by horrific weather. We must be grateful that the weather cleared, or who knows what the outcome would have been. This morning we were due to have 30 school children from London to visit the farm, the forecasted 40mph winds have led to the trip being postponed…

By 10:30 this morning,
excited voices would have filled the shed,
but alas this stormy morning,
silence rules instead.
They would have discovered,
the feel of linseed, oats and wheat,
and where their breakfast comes from,
to make their day complete!
Then they’d walk through the woods,
discovering as they go,
but the wood is silent this morning,
apart from planes shuttling to-and-fro!
But a postponement isn’t a worry,
(we’ve not had one before)
would have been more disasterous way back then,
…in nineteen-forty-four.

Thinking of all those who made the ultimate sacrifice on D-Day so that we may have the freedom we all enjoy today.

© Baldock Bard 2017
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The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Age Before Youth!

Posted on June 5, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Over ten years ago Mrs Bard picked a kitchen clock out of the rubbish at the Saturday car boot sale I organise. She put in a new battery and since then it has kept perfect time as it is controlled by a radio signal from Rugby. Yesterday it failed. I put in a new battery to no avail, it was time to wave goodbye…

The old kitchen clock has run out of time,
it’s days in the house are through,
I gave up trying to restart the hands,
“no more can we rely on you!”
I replaced it back upon the wall,
until a replacement found,
and on the internet we did trawl,
for a clock with a wood surround.
The new replacement ordered,
the old clock whirred once more,
and suddenly both hands stopped in place,
Perfect time at ten to four!

So the threat of the dustbin works as a repair mechanism!
Old free clock kicks new £45 clock’s butt! For once age beats youth!

© Baldock Bard 2017
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E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Saturday Weather Gods!

Posted on June 3, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Running any outdoor event in the UK is at the mercy of the weather. Last week, just at the wrong time for my Saturday car boot sale, the heavens opened and we had a very heavy thunderstorm. I have never seen rain as heavy during a sale in the twenty-five years it’s been running. I must have angered the Weather Gods…

The God’s in heaven had a meeting,
“How can we punish him today?
He has been very demanding,
for fine weather on his knees he pray!
He wants fine weather on a Saturday,
so he can host a good boot sale,
every so often we have to punish him,
so as a human he knows how to fail!
Lets move around some furniture,
lightening to make a loud ‘crack’,
a heavy shower with a watering can,
for the boot sale – that’ll be that.”

They reckoned without my customers,
made of sterner stuff they are,
simply took temporary shelter,
by hiding away in the car!
Then the sun came out smiling,
the sale continued as before,
“Drat” said the Gods in their heaven,
“We’ll punish him in the future for sure!”

Whatever you are doing today I hope you stay healthy, lucky and safe. See you the other side of the weekend. BB

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
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E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Suitcase!

Posted on June 2, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

I love browsing in remainder stores. I find that more than anything else it serves to remind me how we all have very different tastes (a wonderful thing otherwise we’d all be the same!). In my search for a stand-out item, I recently came across some suitcases that got me thinking…

Steve and Alice had been away,
seven whole nights in Montego Bay.
Flying back at the dead of night,
luggage carousel caused a fright!
So many bags all the same,
they searched for theirs only by name!
Steve then had a great idea,
solving the problem suddenly clear.
For Alice’s birthday he bought a case,
no more searching would they face.
Alice let out a dreadful groan,
now he travels on his own!

Wherever you’re travelling today, stay safe and enjoy yourselves.

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
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Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Power Cut!

Posted on June 1, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

This morning we are going to have a ‘Planned Power Cut’. Unfortunately this will result in the burglar alarm sounding. This will send one of our dogs racing upstairs to rip clothes off hangers and chairs or out of the washing basket. It is planned not to last too long and once the power returns then the performance with the dog will move onto ‘Take-Two’ and clothes will be scattered once more…

We’re about to have a power cut,
where the lights go out the fridge goes ‘pffut!’
They’re sawing branches by the power line,
by late this afternoon all will be fine.
For six and a half hours I mustn’t forget,
my computer’s shut down – no internet!
One good result from all this saga,
we’ll be able to cook on our ancient Aga!
It’s all as easy as falling off a log,
and it’ll exercise our neurotic dog!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

Baldock Bard

Verse and Worse from the Baldock Versemonger

Monthly Archives: June 2017

D-Day

Age Before Youth!

The Saturday Weather Gods!

The Suitcase!

The Power Cut!