Beware of Crossing Ducks!


Crossing DucksA whole car-load of us were leaving a party on Sunday afternoon when we spotted an unusual sign. We kept our heads down and said nothing until we were well away from the venue. I have heard that ducks can turn nasty when crossed, but had no idea we had to be warned against this happening…

The ducks have turned nasty,
Someone’s wound them up,
Their leader has told the press,
They’re holding a hostage pup!

It wasn’t all my fault,
I was just mistaken,
‘Beware of Crossing Ducks!’
Nearly cost my bacon!

We were driving down near Ware,
When out from off a pond,
A duck armed with a shotgun,
Obviously badly wronged!

“Are you the dirty rat?” he cried,
“Lowlife son of a gun!”
As he chewed on a piece of pondweed,
“Have you seen my Betty-hun?”

“Wasn’t me it was her!”
I pointed to my wife!
“She ordered duck for dinner,”
(I pleaded for my life!)

“Now look here, you @*&%@+$!”
I heard my beloved cry,
“You blaming me for what I ate?
I’d be careful if you were I!”

The duck stepped back three paces,
“I’ll be letting you all be,”
Turning to me he warned:
“You’re in trouble enough without me!”

© Baldock Bard 2013
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