Some people think, that just because they (or their other halves) have money, they are somehow better than others. I helped a builder-friend finish a refurbishment job in a fashionable area of London. The ‘Lady of the House’ may be blonde, slim and reasonably attractive, but she’s certainly no lady…
Been working up in London,
Helping a mate called Frank.
I may only be the builder’s mate,
But it’s money in the bank!
I’m what they call ‘The Gofer’
I go-fer this, go-fer that.
Sometimes my job even includes,
Fetching food for the owner’s cat!
Pete the plasterer slaps it on,
His hair, his clothes, his face!
Some gets onto the ceiling,
A miracle in this place!
I’ve got used to carrying cement,
I also carry grout,
If I make a mess on the carpet,
The owner will scream and shout!
She caught me with a camera,
Grabbed it and gave me gyp,
Threw it right through the window,
It landed in the skip!
The Plumber’s name is Stan,
That might just not be true,
He swears at the boss in Polish:
Or he could be swearing at you!
Mrs Hoity-Toity who lives here,
Calls us all “her men!”
With relief Pete says when he’s done,
He won’t see her again!
Frank reckons she’s playing hard to get!
“A right tasty bird!”
I suggested he fed her some millet,
He told me not to be absurd!
I managed to sneak a picture,
On my hidden mobile phone,
Don’t care if the woman sees it,
By now I’m safely at home!
© Baldock Bard 2013
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