Loads of Wheat and Paper!


Last week the wheat on the farm was tested, this week it starts to leave! Paperwork and regulations, devised by unseen desk-drivers, becomes all-important! It is simple to load and cart grain with the large bucket on the JCB. Making sure the paperwork is correct, less so…

N.B. This verse is dedicated to all those connected with Fengrain and L&H Transport for making my life that bit easier due to their expertise and good humour

Amy from Fengrain’s on the phone she wants to move some wheat,
She’ll get on to transport, to make the consignment complete!
Mick rings up from L&H, “We want six lorry loads,
Can we start Tuesday to miss the Bank Holiday roads?”
Ian arrives to collect a load, early on Tuesday,
Wants a load of quality wheat, “for biscuits so they say!”
So starts up a paper trail, longer than a mile,
Loading the wheat takes no time, but forms take quite a while!
Traceablity is the game, any farmer can play,
When imported wheat is cheaper, it magically goes away!
First take a passport, needed for every load,
Make sure it’s filled in triplicate, before it hits the road.
Add an Assurance Sticker, after examination took place last June,
Thank heavens that we passed it, failure leads to doom!
Add the lorries last three loads, having fully inspected the trailer,
Get the driver to countersign, or you will have a failer!
Fill in the Renewable Energy Directive, crops not grown on an SSSI?
It’s something to do with Brussels, heaven and they know why!
A test result for Mycotoxyn, I’ve done a risk assessment,
By this time I’ve lost the will to live, just protecting my grain investment!
Then I sign the haulier’s pad, I add the trailers code,
I write that he’s swept it three times, after every load!
So next time you buy Cream Crackers, Bourbons or Rich Tea,
The traceability process was started here by me!

© Baldock Bard 2012
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