Matteo’s Big Flames!


Yesterday evening we had what may prove to be the last barbecue of the year. As the evening drew in the temperature dropped considerably and Matteo (see Bard passim:, ably assisted by his Uncle Alessandro, decided to light the fire-pit! Four singed eyebrows later they announced their endeavour to be ‘an unqualified success’…

They do things differently in Italy,
Or that’s what Matteo said,
“We lighta de fire dis way,
Drya weeds forma de starting bed!”

We looked on with amazement,
As the flames leapt to the sky.
Instant heat soon warmed us,
He’d used diesel that was why!

In the middle of proceedings,
Uncle Alessandro poured more wine!
Matteo looked up from the fire-pit,
And claimed that all was fine!
Then came the timber,
Branches felled in June.
The flames licked around them,
I thought it way too soon.

They both carried the biggest,
A trunk that looked too long.
Suddenly “Hey!” they both leapt away,
Both had eyebrows gone!

Then the singing started,
“How we do-a de things in Rome!”
I can only suggest earnestly:
You never try this at home!
© Baldock Bard 2012
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