Not Suitable!


Have you ever been mistaken for someone else? The other night Mrs Bard and I were at a drinks party when an elderly lady mistook me for a ‘Z list’ television celebrity. I think she may have left her glasses at home…

A grandma approached me at a party,
And much to my surprise,
Looked me up and down,
Then cautiously advised:
“It’s you! I can’t believe it,
Just wait ‘till my friend is near.”
And without another word between us,
Shouted “Rene, come over here!”

“Rene, it’s that bloke I talked about,
Was on the telly last night,
The one that hosted that quiz show,
I know that I am right!”
I tried to protest my innocence,
Tell them I deserved no fame,
But she wouldn’t even hear of it:
“You stars are all the same!”

Rene said: “He’s not quite tall enough,
The glasses are not right,
His teeth are all so crooked,
Wasn’t on the telly last night!”
With that they turned to go,
She looked at me with distain,
“You’re not handsome enough for telly,
You pretenders are all the same!”

© Baldock Bard 2012
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