Percy – The Problematic Pensioner Pirate!


Mobility PirateI was in a local supermarket recently when a pensioner on a mobility scooter wouldn’t let anyone pass in the aisle. I overheard a bystander call him an ‘effin pirate! The thought of a retired pirate riding an invalid scooter around his local supermarket had me enthralled…

Percy was a pirate,
Once sailed the Seven seas.
He now suffers tennis elbow,
And rheumatic knees!
When supermarket shopping,
Astride his faithful scooter,
If landlubbers blocked his path,
Be deafened by his hooter!

With a cry of oooooh and a shout of aaaaagh!
He rampaged around the aisles,
The oooooh came from his elbow,
The aaaaah came from his piles!
Now he has been banished,
Forced to ‘walk the plank’,
The supermarket’s now peaceful,
But there’s hell down at the bank!

© Baldock Bard 2014
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