Plumbing Nightmare!


Have you ever felt that events were running away from you? The day before yesterday we had a leak from a water pipe in the bathroom. While attempting to solve the problem everything seemed to get out of hand to such a level that there was only one course of action, lay back in the bath and consider the situation…

While running my bath there came a dreadful scream,
Was more blood-curdling than a Hitchcock dream.
I rushed downstairs just wrapped in a towel,
A sight guaranteed to make a werewolf howl!
“You’ve over-run the bath you are a silly fool!”
Shouted Mrs Bard as she perched on a stool.
Water was dripping from the kitchen ceiling,
I suddenly felt alarmed and had a sinking feeling.
I knew that the bath was still in need of more,
Must be a leaking pipe underneath the floor.
I rushed to the stopcock to try to stem the flow,
Damn thing was seized was typical you know.
Ran to the garage thanking heavens it was night,
Showed the neighbours everything forgot the sensor light!
With an enormous spanner I stemmed the tidal flow,
Mrs Bard was angry “I really need to go!”
After having told her to only have one flush,
I thought of filling up my bath and upstairs I did rush.
The bath looked so inviting not about to overflow,
Seemed a shame to waste it so in it I did go.
Mrs Bard appeared, a tornado at the door,
“You’re sitting in the ‘effin bath while there’s water on my floor!”
“Don’t you worry dear,” I said while gently yawning,
“There’s no need to panic, will ring the plumber in the morning.”
With a slam of the door and some cutting words for me,
Along with the dog I slept on the settee!

© Baldock Bard

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