Shopping Wrong!


With grateful thanks to the wonderful staff at St Neots Waitrose where shopping is always a joy never a chore.

Have you ever been ‘shopping-wrong’? You know what you have to buy, you may even have a list, but the devil distracts you and you return home with anything but sensible. Mrs Bard despairs of me as I am sorely tempted by displays weighed down with temptation…

Mrs Bard sent me shopping,
To get a thing or two,
“Get something for our supper
What you buy is up to you.”

“What would you care for, dear,”
I asked with great concern,
I’d been ‘shopping-wrong’ before,
You can’t say I don’t learn!

“Anything, whatever, doesn’t matter,
Just do your very worst!
But nothing clothed with batter,
And for heavens sake no Bratwurst!”

Before I went into the shop,
A speech I gave myself,
Ignore the special offers,
Leave sweet things on the shelf!

The devil stood beside me,
As I gazed at a large display,
Anything that could tempt me,
Was Special Offer today!

Twiglets, Wine Gums and Eclairs,
Licourice Allsorts too,
Chocolate biscuits in a Jubilee tin,
All shouting “We Love You!

I loaded up the trolley,
At home stowed it away,
It’s now hidden in the garage!
We had a takeaway!

© Baldock Bard
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