The ASBO Swan!


If I am in a strange town or city I always buy a local newspaper to get the feel of the place. Yesterday I was in a town in Cambridgeshire and picked up a copy of the Cambridge News, a jewel of a newspaper, easy to read with many interesting and well-written articles (please send cheque to Baldock Bard c/o…!). What attracted me to the paper was the lead story of an errant swan that has been attacking people on the River Cam…
I was in the newsagents the other day
When a headline caught my eye
An ‘ASBO Swan’, in the ‘City of the Don’
It’s adventures where and why!

It’s gone from attacking rowing boats
And now attacks rowers too
But authorities say (as is their way),
There’s nothing that they can do.

They’ve carried out consultation,
And visits have caused them strife,
But they don’t know why the swan won’t go,
And find himself a wife.

People are accusing the authorities,
Of too much ‘swanning about’,
But I’ve heard they’ve been given the bird
And will blame it all on the drought!

© Baldock Bard
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