The Doctor’s Surgery!


I try to avoid the doctor’s surgery at all costs. Maybe when I’m retired it will become a part of my weekly routine. Until then I have to be either needing the medical version of Control-Alt-Delete or a blow-out with an ear-canal-pressure-washer before I’ll even consider phoning the appointments line. After having put up with ear-ache for more days than I care to admit, I braved the surgery…

I needed to see a doctor as I had ear-ache,
I rang the surgery at not long after eight!
“The surgery you see,
Is busy until three,
You may just have to sit and wait!”

I checked in on the touch screen (date of birth),
Twenty-sixth of October (for what it is worth),
Rasping coughs and sneezes,
Always spread diseases!
Went to the waiting room (lacking mirth).

If they installed a take-away coffee machine,
And made all the seats comfy and clean,
I was there till half past three,
Neither drink nor cup of tea,
Some wouldn’t ever leave – would they Kathleen?

I saw the doctor for four minutes, that was all,
She asked what was wrong to necessitate this call,
I said it was my ear,
What she said was still not clear,
I came away with a prescription in a doctor’s scrawl!

Mrs Bard is sick of me saying ‘never fear’
‘What?’ and ‘eh?’ are all she ever hear,
Driving in the car,
Annoys her most by far,
I blame the cotton wool that’s wedged inside my ear!

© Baldock Bard 2013
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