The Errant Dishwasher!


Kitchen appliances – don’t you just love ‘em or hate ‘em? There they sit under the counter working away unnoticed and unloved until one day they rebel: “Today’s the day! Those un-caring bastards have used and abused me for long enough. This morning they need me more than ever so I’ll show them who’s boss!” You are left peering inside a familiar area with no indication of a fault beyond the obvious evidence of unwashed plates, cutlery, mugs and glassware and a feeling of helplessness…

We can’t call the doctor, we can’t call the vet,
The dishwasher’s poorly the floor is all wet!
Guests for lunch will soon be on the drive,
Washing up needed before they arrive!
I squirted too much Fairy into the sink
The suds always foam more than you think!
I tried the machine without any load,
Pleading and praying to wash I did goad!
All of a sudden I knew it was the drainer,
We’d have to buy a new one it was a no-brainer!
How do you choose when they all look the same?
The colour is standard so there’s only the name!
There’s Alice or Erik or even Betty too,
That would be easy if all you would do!
We went on the Internet to look at what’s there,
The information was sparse it just wasn’t fair!
So it’s to the shops disrupting our plans,
Either that or by Friday – over-soft hands!

© Baldock Bard 2012
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook Friends: Baldock Bard
E-mail: baldockbard(at)
Replace (at) with @


1 thought on “The Errant Dishwasher!

Comments are closed.