In a period of 24 hours recently, I had no less than 14 unsolicited calls from the same foreign number. I managed to ignore them all, even though it was as much as my patience could stand not to answer them. However I have been known to answer such calls and confuse the callers…

I’m so fed up with nuisance calls
They are just what they say,
A nuisance interruption,
That haunts my time all day.
Sometimes I will answer them,
They ask me if I’m OK,
I tell them that I was felling fine,
Until they called my way.

They want me to change phone contract,
“I have no phone” I say,
“I’m talking on a banana,
Now please do go away!”
They try to sell electricity,
“I’ve switched to wood!” I say,
“I’ve wooden plugs and toaster,
I have cheaper bills that way!”

Then they get quite heated,
At that point start to swear,
I ask them “Are you finished?
You’re obviously unaware,
That you’re calling a premium line,
Thirty Pounds a minute,
The longer that you’re calling me,
The more cash my account has in it!”

…and suddenly they’re gone!

© Baldock Bard 2014
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