The O2 No-Two Dance!


According to the media, the cell-phone provider O2 had problems with their signal last Friday. While this may have been disastrous for those living in towns and cities up and down the UK, those of us in more remote locations (35 miles from Central London in my case) noticed little difference. O2 is the estranged bastard-child of BT, this may account for their don’t-care attitude to loyal customers (I have to add that O2 are by no means the only underachieving  ‘service’ providers). If my mobile rings in the house I do the ‘O2 dance’…

If the mobile rings and I’m in the house,
I answer by saying: “Please wait!”
I then make a dash through the door,
And out past the garden gate.

With dogs barking around my feet,
(Sometimes even a cat!)
I look from afar like Jolly Jack Tar
Doing the Hornpipe Dance like that!

Last Friday morning I was in the house,
With a coffee awaiting a call.
A truck was on its way to me,
Loading wheat before nightfall!

The display showed ‘Mick from L&H’
I uttered a naughty word!
Four times I missed this important call,
Normal but absurd!

It was only on Saturday when I read,
There was a problem with O2,
As it had been service as normal,
I didn’t believe it true!

Now Voyager 1 is 6billion kilometres away,
Still sending back information.
We’re 35 miles from Hyde Park,
With third-world communication!
The circled blue dot is Earth as seen from Voyager 1

© Baldock Bard 2012
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook Friends: Baldock Bard

The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues every Saturday at 7am until October 20th!
BootLine: 07852 707 074
E-mail: baldockbard(at)
Replace (at) with @