If you had been asked a couple of years ago: “What is an app?” how would you have answered? Would you have thought that the speaker was boasting about his physique or a new piece of apparatus in the torture chamber that is the gym? The almost overnight arrival of the App has turned our mobile phone into more like a prop from Star Trek than a telephone! The other day I cleared out a drawer and discovered an old mobile phone from just nine years ago – it was a phone, no camera, no music and certainly not a hint of an app! Where to now, I can’t even begin to imagine.
At this stage the Baldock Bard feels he has to admit that he has over 70 apps on his i-phone. It begs the question: what does your phone say about you…?
I bought an i-phone, my old mobile was crap,
The man in the shop said: “Now you need an app!”
On my way home, I needed a map,
I stopped in a lay-by, and bought my first app!
Now I can’t stop, If I do I feel flat,
All I keep thinking? “There’s an app for that!”
I remembered our Anniversary, I’m such a diplomat!
Must order some flowers, “There’s an app for that!”
On a countryside ramble, with my mate Pat,
Where’s the nearest beer garden? “There’s an app for that!”
I’m off to a wedding, Umbrella or hat?
Court shoes or Wellies? “There’s an app for that!”
If the central hearings broken, with faulty thermostat,
I need to know the temperature, “There’s an app for that!”
Last night I was greedy, today I feel fat,
Nearest fitness centre? “There’s an app for that!”
My nephew is staying, (he’s a spoilt brat!),
Where can I take him? “There’s an app for that!”
England playing at the Oval, are they in to bat?
Are they winning? “There’s an app for that!”
To order some pet food, a bell for the cat,
Some chews for the dog, “There’s an app for that!”
I rang Ruth in Los Angeles, I wanted a chat,
Couldn’t find her number, “There’s an app for that!”
But now my phone’s broken, on it I sat!
My wife said to me: “There’s no app for that!”
© Baldock Bard
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