There is a condition known to all caravaners as AES or Awning Erection Syndrome. It can strike down any couple who attempt to erect an awning in front of others at a campsite. The difficulties faced in what should be a simple operation results in bitterness, shouting, throwing down of tools and abusive language. To non-participants, particularly those whose awnings are already erected and alcohol is to hand, it is an exciting sport worthy of the Olympics. Some bouts have gone down in the annals of caravaning and are passed from generation to generation around the plastic table.
Unfortunately there are other closely-related viruses that don’t require a caravan. One such incurable virus is WEF or ‘Windbreak Erection Failure’. This has struck down friends on their boating holiday…
John and Jane have gone away,
On a boat for a holiday.
True to say all was well,
Until they entered Windbreak Hell.
Unwrapping the poles was an easy task
“Do as I say we’ll erect it fast!
It’s a piece of cake,” John soon yawned!
“Don’t speak too soon,” Jane then warned.
The windbreak was needed, the strong wind blew,
like a vast hang-glider into the air it flew!
John cried “Jane, leave this to me!”
As he rescued the material from the nearest tree!
Two hours later,
two empty chairs,
A husband and wife making repairs!
*Names have been changed to protect the embarrassed, however be careful out there, you may well suffer next, on the beach, at the festival, in the park…!
© Baldock Bard 2015
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