Bringing Outside Inside (how to confuse a terrier!)


Terrier TreeOver the weekend Mrs Bard and I went to buy a Christmas tree. While we moved the furniture we left the tree outside. We hadn’t told our terrier who took fright at the plastic wrapped tree and barked at it. Later on we confused the poor dog further by bringing the tree into the house…

The terrier looked at his owner and said:
“Is there something seriously wrong with your head?
Behind the house is woodland that’s yours,
Yet you buy a tree and bring it indoors!”

“Then you dress it all over with tinsel and balls,
And shout when I play with any that falls!
You fetch out some lights then swear as they fail,
It’s back to the shop, shame there’s no sale!”

“At last it is finished, you sit on the settee,
With a large glass of wine as proud as can be.
Within half an hour you suddenly swear,
When I cock my leg on the tree trunk that’s there!”

“I’m thrown out of the room
For ‘arbiratory pissing’
But you’ve failed to notice…
…how many chocolates are missing!”

© Baldock Bard 2013
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