Category Archives: General Life Observations

Staying Lucky!

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img_0490Many years ago there was a seller at our weekly Saturday car boot sales that everyone called ‘Lucky’. Needless to say if something could go wrong, it would go wrong for poor old Lucky. He bought a consignment of lighters, a real bargain, until one very hot day they ignited and burnt his van to the ground. If Orange was the ‘in’colour, Lucky would have invested in red! This fortnight I’ve felt a bit like Lucky. Last week the differential on the front axle of my tractor broke. This week the rear axle tried to divorce the rest of the machine and do the off, leading to very expensive repair #2. However every cloud has a silver lining and my lucky moment was when the tractor collapsed in the yard and not in the field…

If you knew luck,
like I do at the moment,
you’d put life on hold,
call for a postponement!

The poor old tractor,
jacked up in the barn,
this time it’s the rear,
that is cause for alarm.

It’s only a machine,
and nobody got hurt,
I’ll soon be back,
ploughing up the dirt!

You needn’t look far,
to find someone who’s in pain,
and so I think I’m lucky,
…at least it didn’t rain!

Have a good day and STAY LUCKY!
Yet again Oliver Landpower from Luton were on the scene and dealing with the problem in record time. If they continue to offer such great service I may just have to call them the farm’s 4th Emergency service!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Patient Terrier!

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terrierOur terrier is on a mission. She rushes around the house and then spends hours inspecting the skirting boards with the intensity of a hungry hound watching a tin of dog food being opened. We have tried everything except for counseling, perhaps it’s time…

Is there a rat in the kitchen?
or could it be a mouse?
our dog is going crazy,
rushing around the house!
It sits gazing at walls for hours,
playing a waiting game,
I wish it would catch just one,
perhaps that’s not her aim?

We were so concerned,
we took her to the vet,
“This terrier is normal,
no remedy discovered yet!”

In the Baldock Bard tomorrow: The cat that sings out of tune!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Age-Related Lubrication!

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lubricateYesterday was again spent on the tractor, ploughing. Burial Ground was particularly bumpy. This morning I ache all over, I can’t understand it. However in the workshop I came across a possible remedy…

My joints creak,
my muscles ache,
from sitting on the tractor.
I really think,
I must concede,
Age – the damning factor!

In the workshop,
I discovered,
a can of lubrication!
A quick squirt,
on every joint,
could be age-related salvation!

Now off to shovel some wheat and see if a squirt will help!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Talk Like a Pirate Day!

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pirateToday is not only my 1,350th posting, but also “International Talk Like a Pirate Day”. Both could be described as a silly nonsensical things designed to be just fun! All around the world today, ordinary folk will be using those phrases we know and love. Some will be dressing up for the occasion and some will simply be letting loose the odd ‘Aaaaaaaarrrrrh’ to surprised customers, commuters or colleagues. Enjoy…

“Shiver Me Timbers!”
we all say,
today is Talk
Like a Pirate Day!

Whether at work,
or at the bar,
it’s always satisfying,
to let out a big “Aaaaaarh!”

So go on I dare you,
or the plank it’ll be,
talk like a pirate,
see what fun it can be!

*In todays picture I’m modeling a 1966 T shirt from the Pirate Radio Station ‘Big L’ otherwise known as Radio London, which broadcast from the MV Galaxy off the Essex Coast from 1964-1967.

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Mechanical Twins!

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twinsHurrah! The tractor that was broken is now mended and after a road test, has been declared ‘fit to plough!’ The two mechanics sent from Oliver Landpower, the local JCB dealership, waved their magic spanners and repaired the differential in the front axle quicker than scheduled…

Jonny and Jonny are mechanical twins,
exceptionally good at mending things!
When tractors on a farm break down,
they’re the mechanics you want around.
The JCB is fully functional now,
ready to return to the field with the plough,
The two must have had exceptional training,
they waved a spanner
…and it stopped raining!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Poorly Tractor!

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Readers who read my last posting will remember that when I left you there was something wrong with the JCB Fastrac tractor. A horrible clonking sound was coming from the front axle and ploughing had to be postponed while we awaited the mechanics…

The JCB Fastrac was ploughing,
day-dreaming as JCB’s do,
about a digger called Doug,
and a dumper-truck from Peru!

She was driving across the Savannah,
frolicking in the long grass,
when all of a sudden a pain,
in an instant her daydream was past!

The mechanics who last gave her a service,
looked on with horror at her gear,
pronounced with concern “differential”
“This looks serious we fear!”

She sits in the shed abandoned,
weeping silent tears on the floor,
parts are due from the factory,
so she can frolic wth the plough once more!

With grateful thanks to the skilled ‘Tractor-Doctors’ from Oliver Landpower at Luton, without whose skill I would be left scratching my head with confusion!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Ye Olde England Roads!

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lorriesYesterday I drove to Newark to collect an aged relative. Virtually the whole journey was on the A1 trunk road and the majority of this was just two-lane dual carriageway. A short stretch, near Peterborough, widened to four-lane. Updating the A1 has been ignored for many years, leading to irritation and frustration…

I come to a hill and there up front,
a dual between two trucks,
both are crawling at fifty-five,
this A1 road just sucks.

The traffic builds up behind them,
in my mirror show,
There should have been another lane,
over twenty years ago.

One is hauling local grain,
the other from Timbuktu,
In the distance I see flashing lights,
an ambulance is held up too.

It’s too late to change the road,
no hope for improvement now,
anti-everything environmentalists
and no European cash-cow!

In years to come visitors to this country will use the term ‘quaint’ to describe our roads. On holiday, holdups give them a greater view of ‘Ye Olde England’ from their coach window.The frustration of professional hauliers and drivers is unsurprising.

*The picture was taken by my dash-cam, no children or animals were used in the staging of this photo.

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Swooping Seagulls Follow the Plough!

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seagullsYesterday afternoon I was not alone while ploughing. It was obvious that the Brighton and Hove Albion football team (nickname the Seagulls) weren’t playing as they were all watching me, circling the tractor, swooping and diving onto suddenly exposed worms in the furrow…

Brighton and Hove Albion,
can’t have been playing,
on Sunday afternoon.
Most of their fans,
we’re watching me ploughing
“This free buffet’s a boon!”

“Really don’t like the look of his furrows,
much better on the farm next door,
And judging by the taste of his worms,
His seasoning is very poor!”

All of a sudden at 3:45
the spectacle is over
They’ve all gone
with great aplomb
To watch cross-channel ferries at Dover

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Service Interval

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Oliver LPI walked out into the yard the other morning and came face to face with what looked like a siege situation. Two large yellow vans were blocking the door into the barn. I approached with caution…

Two yellow vans block the shed door,
not a scene I’d witnessed before!
I approached with caution (unlike me!)
They’d come to service the JCB!
Now completed I can’t ask for more,
the tractor runs better than it did before,
the only problem that they couldn’t plan,
was to grease the joints of this old man!

With thanks to the two engineers from Oliver Landpower for using their skills to the max!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Clean Sweep!

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SweepOn one of the warmest summer days I awarded myself the job of sweeping out bins of wheat to transfer next door to the large barn in preparation for movement by haulier. It’s one those jobs that you can’t wait to get done, the reward at the end spurs you on to greater effort…

Sweeping wheat out of the bin
on a very hot day what a state you’re in!
Wearing a mask is a must,
to save your lungs from choking dust!
At last you find the bin is clear,
hair is itchy with chaff I fear.
It’s down my back, my neck itches,
shouldn’t wear shorts should wear britches!
Soon be time (please don’t laugh!),
to plunge myself into a welcome bath.
When I get out “I’m clean” I boast,
better clean the bath or I’ll be toast!
Really no need to act so smug,
as grains of wheat go down the plug!
The bath is clean, no more smear,

…I think it’s time 
FOR A POST-SWEEPING BEER!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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