Category Archives: Local Interest

Feeding The Farm Staff!

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These last few days I’ve been busy loading oats. This is a tricky operation as the lorry has to be full to the brim in order to achieve a useful tonnage (oats weigh considerably less than wheat). When I have made three large heaps on the trailer, the driver drives forward as fast as he can before slamming on the brakes. This helps to level the load and fill up the odd corner before I load more! Unfortunately in these days of automatic sheets to cover the load, some spillage occurs. This is warmly greeted by certain members of the farm staff who have been waiting to pounce nearby…

You can tell I’ve been loading oats,
some have spilt in the yard,
the geese all honk “Thank-you,
it’s our payment for being on-guard!
We wander around at night,
we sometimes honk for danger,
then our silent attack,
and see off a lingering stranger!
Christmas is coming,
on oats we’re getting fat,
we’re too old and tough to eat,
thank heaven’s for that!”

If you are having trouble with strangers, get some geese (they don’t like it up ’em Captain Mainwaring!)

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
Season Ends 14th October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Oats From A Different Angle!

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When you have a drone you get to see everyday actions from an entirely different angle. I had never thought of filming the loading of a lorry as I’m normally doing the loading. Last Friday son-in-law John drove the JCB Loadall, leaving me free to film. It was also handy for the lorry driver to be able to keep an eye on the load so we could get the maximum amount of light-weighing oats per load…

John is driving the Loadall,
he is very careful,
not to spill,
only to fill,
and keep everybody cheerful!

The Bard flies the drone,
over the lorry trailer roam,
it avoids the dust,
that’s a must,
digital pictures not Kodachrome!
My Mavic Pro does seem to like to get in on the act, could this be an ‘Auto-Drone-Selfie?’
Apologies for the poor quality verse!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
until 14th October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Come Fly With Me!

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According to media reports, a low-cost airline has had to cancel flights because of a possible shortage of pilots. Some reports have suggested that staff have got behind with their holiday entitlement, others that pilots have left to go elsewhere. To put it bluntly, uncertainty reigns with many flights cancelled. Perhaps there could be a solution…

Flights have been cancelled,
passengers are very wild,
“They cancelled my flight to Magaluf,
for me, my partner and child!”
Others are still waiting,
for flights back from resorts,
some can’t afford hotel rooms,
according to reports.

I have a flying licence,
I’m willing to give it a try,
Ok, it’s for a drone,
but the theory’s the same to fly!
Perhaps in the future,
the pilot stays on the ground,
he could fly two or three,
more pilots to go round!

If you’re flying today I wish you Bon Voyage and hope your flight’s not cancelled.

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Buzz, Buzz, Buzz!

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The other afternoon son-in-law John and I went to cut up a fallen tree by the wood. On occasions such as this I am the labourer and John is the skilled operator. He has all his chainsaw qualifications (the arborists equivalent of a First Class Honours Degree from Oxbridge), and I have a deep-seated hatred of the buzzing machines (my four-year-old granddaughter delights in chasing me armed with her toy Stihl chainsaw!). Suddenly the saw went quiet and John rushed past me shouting: “Run!”  Fearing at least a zombie invasion or unearthed WW2 bomb, I ran as well…

Buzz buzz buzz!
Went the angry red chainsaw,
as it sliced its way,
through wood two feet or more!
“Buzz buzz buzz!”
Shout the wild angry bees,
“Run Run Run!”
Shouts John as he flees!

I stood there confused
What on earth should I do?
didn’t know what was happening
So I ran too!
Knowing nothing about bees,
Except they make honey and sting,
I couldn’t help but laugh,
I didn’t feel a thing!

It pays to pay attention when someone else is sawing timber! Be careful today and stay safe!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Harvest Home!

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Last Saturday night at 8:59pm we finished harvest. Harvest 2017 is now consigned to our history as one where we rode our luck and came out the other side relatively unscathed. My faithful Mavic-Pro drone recorded the last harvesting moments, little did I know then that my daughter had taken over driving the combine (under instruction)…

No more beans to harvest in the field,
no more loads to help the yield,
no more bindweed seed in the barn,
no more watching the sky with alarm!
no more listening for the home-coming trailer,
no more “sounds like here comes the baler!”
no more dust masks making sweaty face,
no more dirt lines in the bath to trace!
no more postponed meals at night,
no more worrying if the quality’s right,
no more calls from the combine driver’s phone
We can now say “Harvest is home!”
The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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The Burial Ground

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Sometimes you see something so often that you don’t notice it any more! In my world this mostly applies to drains that go on a list to clear and are only noticed when it has rained and there is a large lake. However it also applies to fields! When looking at a crop of beans by drone the other day to judge how much weed there was, I was reminded of the field’s history and why it’s called ‘The Burial Ground’…

Our village, 35 miles north of London, was the most northerly outpost of the London Garrison of the Roman Army. Being as far from the centre as possible, they used it for their disaffected and troublesome troops and their containment zone for those suffering from disease. These poor souls were often North Africans, brought over here as part of the Romans ‘Divide and Conquer’ regime (whereby those captured were sent to other colonies far removed from their home land).
I often imagine how these foreigners must have felt: removed from their temperate climate to a wet, damp and cold winter here in Britain, hated by both the population and their Roman masters.
This was of course not all. Many of these people had leprosy and were banished to outposts to await death while relying on local charity for food and water (and we complain about the NHS). Their compound was surrounded by a reverse moat (dug to keep people in rather than keep invaders out) and there they spent their days until relieved by death.
Hence The Burial Ground. Many years ago burial pots were ploughed up and sent to a local museum, but the constant reminder is now the moated and wooded area and the named field that tells such a sad tale.

Thankfully we are more welcoming to those from abroad these days, however we should all be reminded that tolerance is of utmost importance in our world today.

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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The Early Morning Sky!

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It is strange how some mornings the weather forecast leads to expectations which then don’t materialise. I was expecting pouring rain at 04:30 this morning. I had convinced myself that the early alarm call would be wasted and instead of running my car boot sale, I’d be able to slope off back to the confines of the warm duvet! The sky told a different tale…

I love the early morning sky,
it fascinates me, heaven knows why!
It holds such promise in many ways,
a glimpse of future happy days!
The forecasters promised heavy rain,
a wash-out boot sale, what a pain,
opening the curtains I look out and see,
a wonderful sight facing me!
Hardly a cloud stains the view,
everything is dry, the morning new,
and I can’t slope back off to bed,
but face a dry sunny day instead!

Whatever you’re up to today and wherever in the world you find yourselves, may you enjoy your day and stay safe.

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Incy Wincy, the Very Large Spider!

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While dusting the edges of the grain barn I came across a very large spider. So large was it, that she reminded me of the children’s nursery rhyme about Incy Wincy Spider and the problems of a downpipe. Unfortunately, being me, I had to take it further and strike up a conversation…

“Good morning Mr Farmer,”
shouted Incy spider across to I,
“You’re not going to hurt me,
‘tis not my time to die.”

“I have forty-nine young children,
three are not at school,
Sharon and Simone are poorly,
Shane is playing football!”

“Nine have left PE kit at home,
twelve have earned detention,
and Sam is in teacher’s very bad books,
for not paying enough attention!”

“My husband’s at the pub,
ogling the barmaid’s six legs,
the silly fool dreams of giving her,
a clutch of fifty eggs!”

By then I’d heard enough,
“Please see your own way out,
troubles you have plenty,
Just mind that water spout!”

Have a great day, may your troubles all be smaller than anticipated.

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Share

Dawn Shopping!

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I did something this morning that previous generations of my family would have found unfathomable! I walked into our local supermarket just after 4:30am! Yes, I went shopping at silly-o-clock! I had forgotten to pick up any milk last night and so I joined the insomniacs and shelf-stackers in the early light of dawn…

I walked into the store,
just after 4:30,
cars parked up,
about only thirty!
I wanted milk,
nothing more,
was able to park,
close to the door.
No queues for the tills,
just serve-yourself,
with my bottle of milk,
fresh from the shelf.
Return roads quiet,
no vapour trail,
just cars lined up,
for my car boot sale!

Have a great day and don’t forget the milk!
(Real farmers get their milk straight from the cow, I have to dawn-raid the supermarket!)

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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“Got Any Military?”

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Ever since I started running a Saturday car boot sale I became aware of a select group of early-morning buyers who trawl the stalls for specialist collectables. Some collect records (or Vinyls as they are now known!), some search for gold and some are simply looking for that obscure Lalique vase or similar! However there is also John! I would think that he is coming up to having repeated the phrase “Got and Military?” nearly 40,000 times…

Saturdays wouldn’t be the same,
without “Got any military?”
up and down the rows he goes,
the height of civility!
Sometimes you’ll see him,
on his way back to his car,
a rusty helmet in his hands,
or pictured Churchill with cigar!
Sometimes sellers try to fool him,
with an Action Man and Jeep!
but he just smiles and says,
“I’ll see you all next week!”
To all our wonderful buyers, without you, sellers wouldn’t come and the field would be empty!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

Share