It would seem that recently some words have changed their meaning. Take the word ‘large’ for instance. It used to be just greater than small. In the past if you ordered a large portion of chips, it would probably have been less than half as much again as a small. With the increase in food/drink outlets ‘large’ seems to have taken on a new meaning…

I stopped for a coffee last Thursday,
Was in desperate need of a hit,
I couldn’t see the wood for the trees,
And was descending deep in the sh*t!
I asked for a large black coffee,
Something to wake me right up,
When it came I couldn’t believe it,
Was a bucket disguised as a cup!
But the time I had emptied the contents,
Was flying as high as a kite,
I was wired like a three-pin wall-socket,
Didn’t sleep at all the next night!
I’ll restrict the use of the ‘L’ word,
From now on I’ll ask for a ‘small’
And so I’m not taken for a glutton,
I won’t ask for a ‘large’ at all!

© Baldock Bard 2014
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