When I spoke to him yesterday, a friend of mine, Trevor*, was on a dangerous mission. One that even the most hardened member of our Special Forces would refuse. The Prime Minister would have to go down on bended knee to beg and even then a refusal might be forthcoming. Trevor* spent yesterday morning cleaning out the cupboard under the sink… * In true Special-Forces style the name has been changed to protect identity.
They’re forecasting poor profits at Ikea,
Tea-light sales will falter,
My friend’s found hundreds beneath his sink,
And a very small gnome called Walter.
Enough de-icer for the Ice-road Truckers,
As they head off into the snow.
Perhaps they’d like the odd tea light?
To make their truck cabs glow!
Enough flea spray to cover Southend,
(People as well as dogs!)
And firelighters to keep them cosy,
Should they ever run out of logs!
Lorry-loads of bags of dishwasher salt,
To spread on the whole M6!
Should a shortage occur next winter,
That’s a crisis he could fix!
There’s can upon can of Brasso,
To polish a million brass plates,
Solicitors, Accountants and Doctors,
Will soon be besieging his gates!
© Baldock Bard 2013
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