Portland Bill’s Windy Seas

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Portland ShipAt the weekend I went to see Portland Bill. Disappointed to see he was just a promentory and not an old sage, my attention was diverted by the storm-force Westerly making it hard to stand. On the horizon I spotted a large boat heading into the storm…

There’s a freighter
on the horizon,
sailing into
a brisk Westerly,
off the coast of Portland
(Dorset, not Oregon or Maine).
The wind is gusting,
fifty knots,
and still the ship,
floats gently by.
We on the shore,
lean into the wind
just to stand up straight,
while spray and wind tears
drip down,
our ruddy-red faces!
Up on deck,
the hardy sailors,
sing an old sea shanty,
as they go about their,
jolly sailoring…

“If I were a sailor on a very large boat,
I’d go ‘Ooh and Ahh and floaty float!’
And if by chance the ship went down,
I’d be far too fat to ever drown!
So ahoy me hearty’s and shiver me timbers,
We’re headed for port and up we limbers!”

Portland Storm© Baldock Bard 2013
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above

FacebookBaldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale is now closed for the winter
returning for the twenty-second season on April 26th 2014
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Naughty Uncle Savile and his Wandering Hands!

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20131102-073527.jpgClearing rubbish after a boot sale often brings unexpected surprises! Amongst abandoned possessions recently was a photo album dated 1927. Reluctant to discard history I took it home. Looking through it the other night I noticed possible un-gentlemanly hand placement..

Uncle Savile is a funny man,
All the family knows,
He’s the life and soul of the party,
Aware how the best joke goes.

Uncle Savile is a dirty old man,
So say Sarah and Rose,
At any given opportunity,
Feels their bodies through their clothes.

Uncle Savile has gone away,
No one in the family knows,
He’s been sentenced to many years,
No danger will he now pose.

© Baldock Bard 2013
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above

FacebookBaldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale is now closed for the winter
returning for the twenty-second season on April 26th 2014
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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A Tricky Treat!

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GbtsLast night was All Hallows Eve, known to millions as Halloween. An ancient Celtic custom of remembering loved-ones who have gone before us. This has since been  exported, bastardised and re-imported in order to sell yet more tat in our supermarkets! I decided that I could not resist the attraction any longer and so I purchased a pair of special shoes and went out into the dark night…

Trick or Treat is never complete,
Without a scary sight,
But I bet, none will forget,
What they saw last night!
I’d found some boots on the internet,
That and a furry coat,
None can compare or even scare,
An idiot dressed as a goat!

© Baldock Bard 2013
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale is now closed for the winter
returning for the twenty-second season on April 26th 2014
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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