Category Archives: General Life Observations

The Devious Tractor!

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errorsNow my JCB tractor has been mended, it spends its day searching for new ways for me to re-employ those nice engineers that repaired it recently! It has shown it’s irritation with my non-co-operation by displaying a number of spurious warnings and buzzing it’s warning buzzer, very loudly. Frankly, I’m less than impressed…

My tractor really hates me,
It blames me for everything,
From making it work in the morning,
To the loss of another lynchpin!
Every so often it confuses me,
By identifying computer errors,
Yesterday it found 255,
Enough to spread the terrors!
However I knew how to sort it,
Even though attention it seek,
I simply stop and start the engine,
A tractor’s Control Alt Delete!

Today it is in the shed as I leave it to open the Baldock Car Boot Sale. Maybe it’ll have time to consider it’s actions! Have a great weekend everyone and stay safe!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
Last Bootsale this Season – October 15th 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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The Farmer’s Wife!

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mealsAt this time of year farmer’s nerves are frayed, tempers are short and backsides sore from hours spent in a bumpy tractor seat. However there is one life-saving member of the team who is unseen, un-thanked and generally un-waged – it is the Farmer’s wife. Without her the autumn cultivations, and much more, would fall apart…

Mrs Bard’s day isn’t going to plan,
delivers lunch to her old man,
then it’s off to fetch spare parts,
there’s no time to bake jam tarts!
Very soon it’s time for tea,
out to the field to a grumpy ‘He’.
Late at night in darkness now,
a tired grumpy man arrives for ‘chow’.
Dust-fill nostrils make him snore,
then it’s up with the lark
…it starts once more!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
Last Bootsale this Season – October 15th 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Bossy Spider!

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spiderYesterday, while using the smallest room in the house, I came across one of the largest spiders I’ve ever seen. As per usual I took a photo. When I looked closely, the damn spider was laughing at me and pointing to cracks in the wall. Rather than waste a picture I have used it and promise that when all the landwork is finished I shall do some DIY…

The largest spider in our house,
is big enough to frighten a mouse,
it sits waiting in the downstairs loo,
to leap out at users and shout ‘Boo!”
Yesterday it suggested to me,
things were not as things should be!
I should forget the tractor and just try,
to try my hand at some DIY!
“Look at how I have to live,
These cracks in the wall are massive,
Unless you deal with them real soon,
I shall be forced to move to a different room!”

…with apologies to all arachnophobes for not posting a warning.

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
Last Bootsale this Season – October 15th 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

 

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Cossack-Style Farming!

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img_0889Did you ever watch a display by Cossack riders where they rode two horses at once around a ring whilst standing up? As a child I remember being awe-struck at this remarkable feat. Yesterday I attempted to multi-task, delivering seed in half-ton bags to the drill and rolling in behind with my newly-mended JCB Fastrac. I also managed to go and fetch more seed from a neighbouring farm and get to my granddaughter’s fourth birthday party…

Just like a Cossack,
I’m a rushin’ about,
rolling and driving,
while no laws do I flout!
The drill is kept going,
the rolling proceeds,
while fetching and carrying,
big bags of seeds!
At about four o’clock,
everything stops,
sing ‘Happy Birthday’
then back to my crops!
Later in the darkness,
my day is done,
the life of a farmer,
is filled with such fun!
img_0915

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
Last Bootsale this Season – October 15th 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk


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The Twins Win – Again!

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img_0849Yesterday morning I was wondering just how and when I would be able to finish the ploughing and roll the seed after the drill. Almost a fortnight ago I had broken the tractor for a second time in two weeks (http://www.baldockbard.co.uk/?p=8779) and since then it has sat forlornly in a corner of the shed, its rear end in bits and minus two wheels. I had been told that the parts were on back order (the computer says ‘No!’) and there wasn’t much hope before November. So it was with surprise that when I walked into the shed yesterday afternoon the ‘Mechanical Twins’ (http://www.baldockbard.co.uk/?p=8767) were back and the tractor was almost whole again…

When Jonny and Jonny (the mechanical twins),
appear on the farm everyone wins!
A two-wheeled tractor wasn’t going anywhere,
is all of a sudden running and fair!
This farmer who had been feeling down in the dumps,
is up and smiling even feeling goose bumps!
Out in the field later today,
a bright yellow tractor will be back at farm-play!

Thanks are due to the ‘Twins’ and also to Colin in the workshop and everyone at Oliver Landpower of Luton who worked their own brand of magic and made the back-order become a front-order so the tractor was repaired in under half the expected time. Also thanks to James for offering the borrow of his tractor.

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
Last Bootsale this Season – October 15th 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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“Sian Is Here!”

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sianLast weekend Mrs Bard and I were in North Wales for a birthday celebration. Nothing unusual there you might think. However the celebration was for a most unique friend. Everyone should have a friend like Sian…

The friends all gathered,
From all around (Including Colwyn Bay),
To sing the thanks and also praises,
It’s Sian’s birthday “Hip Hip Hurray!”

Now she’s having a brand new hip,
those bloody crutches to be thrown away,
she worries more about her friends,
when they ask says: “I’m OK!”

When her friends have troubled times,
calm and serene she does appear
we all know things will be OK,
when someone shouts: “Sian is here!”

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
Last Bootsale this Season – October 15th 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Saturday Friends!

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tallsSomebody once asked what made my car boot sale special. I replied that it was rather like the earth: Without people, the earth would be like just another rock in space – the car boot sale would be just another empty field. Last week a couple told me they were emigrating to the seaside. So I took their picture to add to the vast number I have of people standing beside their cars on Saturday mornings for the last 24 years! It has come as quite a shock as to how little I know about this very nice couple, I don’t even know their names…

Mr and Mrs Tall are moving,
to Bournemouth by the sea,
I don’t like to loose good customers,
especially like she and he.
They’ve been coming to the boot sales,
quite a few times a year,
with their friendly disposition,
we’ve enjoyed their presence here.
Lucky old Bournemouth,
new recipient of your smiles,
perhaps we’ll meet again one day,
it’s not that many miles!

Dedicated to all my wonderful customers, whoever you are or wherever you’re from.

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
Last Bootsale this Season – October 15th 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Not As It Seems!

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pressIt is strange how things look different from the air. The other evening at dusk I sent the drone up over a field where Robin was pressing some ploughing with the John Deere rubber-tracked crawler tractor. My ploughing looked less than impressive…

Robin’s pressing my recent plough,
doesn’t look so good now,
when I was ploughing it looked fine,
now I’m embarrassed to say it’s mine!
In fact I’d say it makes me wince,
looks like he’s pressing a tray of grey mince!

…if you should spot me doing a dance,
I’m hoping for rain to come up from France,
if you have influence please can you say,
I’d please like some rain, but not Saturday!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
Last Bootsale this Season – October 15th 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Desperate Times!

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img_0490There are times when you should be busy, but because of circumstances you find yourself kicking your heels. This month has been most frustrating, much to do but plagued by major tractor breakdowns. Desperate times may call for desperate measures…

The tractor sits wheel-less in the corner,
the plough lies abandoned in the yard,
after a week the field remains unvisited,
inaction when there’s work to do is hard.

The awaited parts are on back-order,
in a month they may be on the farm,
I’ll have to fetch Dolly from the stable,
a horse-drawn plough and really chance my arm!

With thanks to all those who are trying their best to make things happen on the parts front.

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
Last Bootsale this Season – October 15th 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Don’t Analyse, Just Enjoy!

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sept-eveIt’s wonderful weather. Autumn is knocking on the door and the temperatures are still summer-like. We are told has been a record season for holidays at home, the weather has slightly helped…

The farmer in me,
is crying out for rain.
But I’m enjoying the warmth,
just like Summer again!

It is so ironic,
that now we stand alone,
this British early autumn,
better weather found at home!

Don’t Analyse…Just Enjoy!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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