Category Archives: General Life Observations

Johnny Hunter

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Johnny HYesterday I went to a ‘farmer’s funeral” (‘We Plough the Fields and Scatter’ as the first hymn!). I can’t say I knew Johnny Hunter well in recent years, but I knew him well enough to appreciate his tremendous courage, humanity and his unforgettable dry sense of humour. Many years ago I knew him better…

Many years ago I was a member of
a small discussion group
made up of farmers.
We’d meet up at a farm
and walk their crops
(grumbling when they looked better than our own!).
Later we’d sit around a cup of tea
and discuss weeds
or fungal diseases
or other exciting crop-specific topics.
I used to like to sit
within earshot of Johnny
because although
most of the time
he wore
a serious face,
it was simply there to heighten
the impact of a
sometimes wicked
joke or observation
that was about to flow
from his lips,
followed by
an unforgettable
smile.

It was my pleasure to have known you. Rest in peace.

Baldock Bard 2016

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E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

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Terminus 2066!

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PaddingtonThe other day I went down to Paddington Station in West London to collect an aged relative. On my way to spend 30p at the conveniences I looked up at the roof of this ancient monument to mass transit solutions. It led me to wonder what lay in store for rail travel in the future and which of our present customs would remain…

Will there still be antique stations,
when trains are supersonic?
Will platforms remain the same,
some arrival times still chronic?

Will the guard still blow a whistle,
even though trains automatic?
Will we alight in London,
next stop the Adriatic?

Will commuters pack like sardines,
on their way to Town?
Or will the work come to them,
still in their dressing gown!

Will it still hold a child’s wonder,
an open-mouth gasping stare,
I hope it’s still spectacular,
even though I won’t be there!

I consider myself very fortunate that I walk to work and don’t squeeze into a over-full carriage with other city-bound commuters. So for me the excitement of a train journey remains something special and reassuring in this ever-changing world.

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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The Wholesaler’s Bargain!

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Rain GuageThe last two days have been the grottiest start to June that I can remember and customers of mine want to know what I’m going to do about it! Every week I get at least six phone calls to ask what the weather is going to do at my Saturday Car Boot Sales. Unfortunately I don’t have a direct line to ‘Him Upstairs’, despite what some might think. In order to forestall some of the detailed metrological questioning i sometimes pretend I have visited my wholesaler…

Someone rang and asked me,“Mike,
what do you think the weather’ll be like,
next weekend, because I’d like you to tell,
if it’ll be dry at the boot sale to sell”

I told him that ‘I’m not Mike’,
wasn’t really sure what the weather will be like,
but I had been down to the local wholesaler,
Salt of the Earth, was a deep sea sailor!’

‘Have you some dry Saturday’s for sale?
there are none on the shelf as far as I can tell.’
He replied with a Sea-Salts refrain,
“I’ve only a second hand weekend from Spain!

However if you want at a price that’s right,
a Hebridean week, cool dry and bright!”
I told him I’d take the Spanish weekend,
or my customers will think I’m around the bend!

Have a great day and if you notice some sunshine lurking around, please put it on a bus send it it my direction, I’ll pay the fare on arrival!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Nocturnal Toothache Cures!

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CuresThere are worse afflictions in the world than toothache. However having toothache in the middle of the night, when all around is silent, seems to heighten the pain to such an extent that any self-administered cure is considered…

I lie awake my mouth is in pain,
the pillow could be made from a steel frame.
Into the bathroom to re-brush my teeth,
it’s not them that hurt but underneath!
Go to the fridge, milk may be the cure,
it’s very cold, freezing pain to endure.
Put some malt whisky into a glass,
warms the throat but the pain doesn’t pass.
Make a coffee to quell the troubles,
burn your tongue the pain more than doubles.
Reach for a bottle of ‘Oil of Cloves’,
burns the lips but that’s how it goes.
Thinking ‘Power Drill’ the brain sends a warning,
I’ll ring the dentist first thing in the morning!

If you’ve got toothache, there is only one cure, an appointment with your local friendly dentist! Have a good day!
P.S. Have been to the dentist, he drilled and poked and the pain has gone!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Bank Holiday Leftovers!

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SaladMy mother always did the washing on a Monday. Without fail the washing line would be full    by nine-o-clock at the latest and the ancient hoover would be roaring it’s way around the house. This morning my memory has failed me as I can’t recall what happened on a Bank Holiday…

This Tuesday doesn’t feel like Tuesday,
you could call it Monday-lite,
it doesn’t feel like the start of the week,
something’s just not right.
Perhaps the only answer,
go back and start again,
then it may go back to normal,
and start to pour with rain!

Apologies for the ultra-low verse rating this morning but my mind is stuck in Bank Holiday mode and I can’t find the jump-leads!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Balduck from Baldock!

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IMG_6532Three years ago ‘Balduck from Baldock’ came to live on the farm following a bad few days in the life of a duck.
One Wednesday, he was flying along, thinking what a lovely day he was having, when a misjudgement of height led to him being hit by a car on a dual carriageway. The driver knew by the sudden cloud of feathers that she’d hit a bird and sadly assumed the worst. For the rest of the week she travelled up and down the motorway to and from work.
At the weekend she went to retrieve her car from the garage and noticed bird poo underneath the front. Investigating closer she noticed a pair of duck eyes looking out at her from behind the grill! She called the vet, once again fearing the worst. The vet called in the services of a friendly mechanic, who removed the front of the car. A bemused mallard duck was carefully removed and put on bed rest for a week.
The following week Balduck from Baldock, as he’d been christened, was released into the wild on our farm, to run with our tame ducks, where he’s lived ever since.
The above photo was taken yesterday when he came into the farmyard for his lunch! He has outlasted all our other ducks who have made meals for a local fox.

Balduck from Baldock is a very lucky duck!

You never know what is to come after a bad day! May all your troubles be small and surmountable.
Have a great Bank Holiday Weekend.
Baldock Bard.

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Uncomplaining Mother!

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MotherI was mowing the lawn yesterday evening when I happened to see some slight movement under the lavender. On closer inspection it was a lonely uncomplaining hen pheasant sitting on a nest. She was perfectly camouflaged to protect both her and her eggs…

Sitting on her nest,
the mother doesn’t flinch,
when the noisy mower passes,
doesn’t budge an inch.

Where is her husband?
Nowhere to be seen,
probably in an armchair,
staring at a screen!

By the time the eggs are hatched,
she’ll be ready for some dinner,
as bringing up her children,
has left her very much thinner.

To mother’s everywhere in appreciation of what you go through for your young.

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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VIP Flypast!

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Stop!Yesterday I went to London to scoop an elderly relative off the train at Paddington Station. Just before the Lord’s Cricket Ground there was a commotion behind us, police outriders stopped the traffic, blew whistles and held back vehicles and pedestrians as four unmarked cars, with blacked-out windows, swept past at speed…

Police stop all the traffic,
VIP coming through,
must be so important,
not for me or you!

The police motorcycle outriders,
swarm at the traffic lights,
whistle and shout, “you can’t come out!”
suspended ‘ooman rights!

I wonder who’s so important,
to be rushed through in this way
I’m glad it’s not me needs security,
I’ll quietly be on my way!

I wish you happy travelling without hold-ups (especially today, Roger and Joanna flying back to Hobart). Safe journey to you all, even if you’re just walking down to the shops! 

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Four Horsemen!

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IMG_6287It is strange how one person’s antique is another persons bin-fodder. I noticed an extremely unusual bronze decorative item on a stall last Saturday, picked it up, took a photo and quickly replaced it on the stall…

The Four Horsemen of the Bootsale,
didn’t do anything for me,
I just took a photo,
then gave then back you see!
But someone had spotted me,
thought I knew their worth,
made a splash with a handful of cash,
and dashed off wracked with mirth!
The stall holder was delighted,
with this unexpected sale,
“Could I please repeat again
as my tactics seem not to fail!”

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale

SG7 6RD

is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!

Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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My Bargain Hunt!

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Bargain HuntDo you ever pretend you’re in a TV show when you’re going about your daily life? Perhaps when you drive to work you pretend you’re the subject of one of those numerous fly-on-the-wall police shows or Top Gear? I prefer something more sedate when walking around the car boot sale or in an antiques shop…

I don’t have long to make my selection,
for my very own ‘Bargain Hunt’,
I reject the well-worn teddy bear,
when you press it there’s a grunt!
Quite a nice antique vase,
has a certain ‘je-ne-sais-quoi!’
but I think it’s over-priced,
would probably drop it on the way to the car!
So many items have caught my eye,
(most of them don’t even rhyme!),
so I go to the pub for a pint,
leaving my Bargain Hunt ’till another time!

Of course the most bargains are to be found on a Saturday at the Baldock Car Boot Sale (see below!)

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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