Category Archives: General Life Observations

Nature’s Bridesmaids Dress

Posted on by
Share

IMG_6204We have a wonderful Flowering Cherry in the back yard. Despite being out of view of most visitors to the farm, it is the most wonderful example of this tree that we have. There is also a fine example in our local churchyard, however despite being perfect for weddings, it’s finery is over very quickly…

The Flowering Cherry wears a bridesmaids dress,
as if at a wedding,
doesn’t wear it very long,
as soon it will be shedding,

Once it lies upon the floor,
confetti covered ground,
be forgotten for anther year,
like the dress it’s cupboard-bound!
Blossom 2If you’re off to a wedding this weekend, have a wonderful time!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Share

The Busy Shop!

Posted on by
Share

Busy ShopYesterday afternoon Mrs Bard saw a giant construction kit in a store. Priced at only £20, it seemed to be the perfect imagination-fostering toy for our three-and-a-half year old granddaughter. By teatime they had made a shop which my granddaughter named her ‘Busy’ shop…

In our kitchen is a ‘busy’ shop,
there are things to buy,
we’re already looking,
for the remote controller for Sky!
There are assorted items,
for sale to my wife and me,
let’s just hope I have loose change,
or there’ll be no coffee!

If you have children, hide this from them as I don’t want to be blamed for lost car keys, pets or food! Have a great day and enjoy imagination (even at your desk, why not sell a colleague something of theirs!).

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Share

Bill and the Pill!

Posted on by
Share

BillHave you ever tried to medicate a cat with a pill? It would be easier to give a hungry tiger a morsel of meat by hand while jumping up and down on a Pogo Stick! It is one operation in life that has no recipe for success…

We had a cat,
his name was Bill.
always refused,
to take a pill.
We’d wrap it up,
in delicious meat,
he’d turn up his nose,
refuse to eat!
We’d go gently,
not scream and shout,
he’d look at us,
and spit it out!
The little devil,
sensing something fishy,
went and hid,
on the Mitsubishi!
In the end,
(between you and me),
we claimed success,
with Dairylea!

If you have to medicate a cat today, good luck and keep those bandages within arms reach (for you, not the cat!)

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Share

Suited after Booted!

Posted on by
Share

Suit after BootIt is strange but nobody recognises me if I happen to dress up! The normal remark is “you can scrub up smart when you want to then!” Last Saturday I snuck away from the car boot sale and retrieved the suit out of the wardrobe. In no time I was ‘Suited after Booted’…

Saturday lunchtime to a party,
Was under orders to dress up smartly,
On with the suit, on with the tie,
with dark glasses to sight rectify,
because my clear glasses are in the river,
looked like a mobster, made me shiver!
So if you see me looking smart once more,
I may just be a doorman on the door!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Share

Dirty Stop-out!

Posted on by
Share

Stopout1Do you ever have one of those mornings when you wake up and have no recollection what happened last night? This morning I woke up late, had a groggy head, eyes not working properly, limbs aching and with little memory of last night! I knew I wasn’t home until way past eleven…

My memory’s been wiped,
my RAM is low,
I woke up late,
no get up and go!
I seem to recall,
getting in after 11,
hot corned-beef hash,
my foodie heaven!
I make a coffee,
it wasn’t a wedding,
I now remember,
Fertilizer Spreading!
Stopout2With thanks to JR for giving an old man an unexpected late night out!
If you are planning a late night, I wish you fun, laughter and joy (without fertilizer!)

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

Share

The Eye Test!

Posted on by
Share

Eye TestYesterday I went to have my eyes tested at my ever-faithful opticians (also known as Allders in Letchworth!). This was a must following my un-planned dip in the River Great Ouse on Saturday evening (see: http://www.baldockbard.co.uk/?p=8281), when the fish became proud owners of my glasses (phone, car keys, wallet and bank cards). However not only was my stiffness on Sunday morning a sign of my advancing years, but a further reminder arrived on the way back from my appointment…

On the way back home a concern I voiced,
something missing from my glasses invoice,
The insurance said I could claim the rest,
but not the cost of my eye test.
I was looking down at the Allders bill,
something missing stopped me still,
I had to ring “Has a mistake been made,
for my eye test, no bill I’m afraid.”
There was silence on the other end,
methinks they thought I was around the bend!
and in a voice – the answer was risky:
“there is no charge – you’re OVER SIXTY!”

With grateful thanks to Allders in Letchworth for their prompt service, theirs is a service you can trust. That’s so important as we only have one set of eyes!
Just remember – step back from the river and act your age!

© Baldock Bard 2016

For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

 

Share

Dave’s Allotment!

Posted on by
Share

AllotmentI’ve always been fascinated by allotments. These micro-farms, often on the outskirts of town, are tended in a way that would be impossible over a large acreage. I once knew an allotment holder who told me many stories of daring-do amongst the sheds, canes and plastic sheeting. The quest for perfection in produce sometimes led to undoing…

Dave had a shed at his allotment,
was sometimes inside for a smoke,
He did a little digging,
Socialised with allotment folk!

He contemplated straight carrots,
Potatoes, beans, sweet pea,
often ended up distracted,
arriving home so late for tea.

His plot was always weed-free,
because at dead of night,
sprayed weed-killer from a farmer,
boasted: “It’s all rotations – right?”

His wife grew suspicious,
Followed him to the shops,
Watched him at the checkout,
Buy six ‘home-grown’ shallots!

His plot is now vacant,
Dave’s nowhere left to go,
His wife left her mark,
with a long serrated hoe!

Names, places and produce have all been changed and are not representative of local allotment holders in any way, shape or form. 
May your weeds whither and your brussels sprout, Happy Microfarming!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Share

In The River!

Posted on by
Share

in the riverIf you ever go boating, take precautions just in case you fall in. Last Saturday I failed to take precautions and dropped into 18ft of water. This was not a necessarily pleasant experience, particularly as I had failed to take basic precautions before walking along the gunwale…

One minute I was pushing off a tree,
next, what was floating? Yes! T’was me.
What saved me from being an underwater sub,
was the safety boat from St Neots Rowing Club!

Stupidity doesn’t always happen in your home,
in my pocket: wallet, keys and my i-Phone.
the fish now have their own hotspot,
while texting, emailing and internetting non-stop!

But when I surfaced the world seemed strange to me,
on the riverbed my glasses, for the fish to see!
In years to come archaeologists will have found,
the signs I was lucky that I hadn’t drowned.

With heartfelt thanks for the prompt actions of those at St Neots Rowing Club.
Also thanks to Alison and all at Royston branch of NFU Mutual Insurance for getting my world back on track with the maximum of speed and minimum of fuss.
If you’re going near water today, stay safe and don’t be a prat like yours-truly!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Share

The Last Daffodil

Posted on by
Share

last daffSome years ago I went to visit an old teacher who taught me when I was seven. She was approaching her 105th birthday. She still lived on her own, cooked, cleaned and tended her small rose garden. However she had one complaint about living to such a great age, all her peers and friends had gone…

Pity the last daffodil left standing,
when all the others have died,
May day heat is not a treat,
when you feel lonely inside.

Pity the Centernarian,
who sits all day in a chair,
the wing-back seat no longer a treat,
as life is just not fair.

Make much use of every day,
while you’re still in your prime,
because who knows, the way life goes,
you may regret too much time!

Have a great weekend. May you hear laughter, enjoy good company and feel the warm sun on your back!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

Share

No Morning Coffee!

Posted on by
Share

CNIn our larder there is always a spare jar of coffee so that I can guarantee my wake-up call. The other morning was a near disaster as the jar was almost empty as was the reserve shelf. Luckily my faithful 4×4 was saddled up outside, ready to ride to the rescue and wisk me off to Baldock…

Morning comes downstairs I glide,
open the door let the dogs outside.
In the kitchen coffee to serve,
the jar is empty none in reserve!
How will I cope, will I survive?
In blind panic to the shop I drive,
I’ve never been shopping so early before,
the aisles are empty in the store.
I get to the shelf ignore the grounds,
five jars of instant for twenty pounds!
I drove home, no not that fast,
ready to face the day at last!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Share