Agri-Wacky Races!

Posted on October 13, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

On Sunday afternoon we were chased around the fields by the threat of rain! We finished drilling wheat at tea time and I firmed up the seedbed by rolling in behind (like putting an extra blanket on the bed!). However I was being chased by the sprayer putting on pre-emergence weed killer, also attempting to beat the forecasted rain…

Like Wacky Racers we dash around,
Drilling, rolling and spraying the ground.
When darkness falls we’re still on the go
We roll and spray but no longer sow!
Finally we’re finished all machines to the shed
We go in for supper then it’s time for bed…

…and then it rains and rains and rains!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October 18^th
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Feeding the Birds!

Posted on October 11, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

I happened to look up from some paperwork the other morning and see my son-in-law and granddaughter on their way to feed the ducks. It made a great picture and led to a simple yet pleasing story of feeding birds…

We’re off to feed the ducks you know,
Holding hands as we go,
The dog trots happily by our side,
As we reach the woodland ride.

We have a bucket of saved tail corn,
Harvested before the ducks were born!
Someone call the bird police,
Behind us charge the hungry geese!

They will push the ducks aside,
Until they’ve got enough inside.
Then with a nervous glance,
The small wild birds will get their chance.

Rural Roads, Rural Drivers!

Posted on October 10, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

Nothing angers rural motorists more than joining a long queue behind a slow tractor when the driver refuses to pull in to let them past. Nothing irritates tractor drivers more than having pulled in to let the queue pass nobody acknowledges the act. However sometimes the sun and moon are in alignment and I found myself not only in a jam (not of my causing) but being thanked when I pulled over…

I took my Loadall along the road,
At a paltry 18 miles per hour,
The traffic was really quite heavy,
I knew that some would be sour!
I pulled into gateways, I pulled on the verge,
And much to my surprise,
Almost every motorist thanked me,
I couldn’t believe my eyes…
So I’m going to do it again today!
(only joking!)

The Souvenir from Norfolk!

Posted on October 8, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

It is strange how an old-fashioned illness can travel through a family like a non-stop express train through a rural station! My Granddaughter returned from a few days in Norfolk with a wonderful souvenir for us all. So violent is the virus that it didn’t even need unwrapping. I just hope that others are immune…

At the moment I dare not cough,
Or be but near a very large trough.
A sickness virus has laid me low,
Not far from the bathroom dare I go.
I don’t feel like reading an exciting book,
I can’t even give any food a look.
The simplest pleasure from a glass of water,
Denied by a bug from my granddaughter!
I don’t suggest you even try it,
The weight-loss properties an instant diet!
Others have recovered after 24 hours,
So I’m hoping for super bodily powers.
So if you see me just walking past,
The bug has gone elsewhere at last!

Relief supplies were most welcome!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October 18^thWith more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

The Wait For Welsh Hooks!

Posted on October 7, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

We have had a friend to stay fo a couple of nights. Apparently when she last stayed with us I was desperately searching for keys that I had mislaid. With this in mind she bought me a remedy which is now installed, in use and already irreplaceable…

“Where are those bloody keys?
I put them on the table,
Someone must have picked them up,
Didn’t drop them in the stable!”
I really must get hooks,
On which to put my keys,
Then they’ll always be to hand,
I’ll find them all with ease!”

But the job of finding hooks,
Became one to do ‘tomorrow’,
And keys were still being mislaid,
Causing grief and sorrow.
Friend Sian came to stay,
And bought me a prescription,
Inscribed above some useful hooks
This simple Welsh Inscription…

“Here’s a place to keep the keys,
instead of looking
all over the house for hours!”

Diolch Sian, Angharad & Rhodri!

The Sunday Papers

Posted on October 6, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

I used to religiously buy a Sunday newspaper. Yesterday Mrs Bard went shopping and came back with a free copy. I wondered if anyone was left who had the time to trawl through such a weighty tome. There were three magazines, numerous sections and more inserts than you could count. You’d need a whole row of budgie cages to use up this lot…

I looked at the Sunday papers,
There’s very little news,
An awful lot of filler,
And someone else’s views!

What a mess around the world,
Syria and Iraq,
A murder suspects body,
Found hanging in a park.

Polititian’s U-turns,
That’s no news to us,
There are by-elections coming,
The polls will make a fuss!

Someone’s marriage is over,
Someone’s in the dock,
A Bishop is an adulterer,
Someone’s wife he did defrock!

An actor is now married,
The world’s press were there,
Leading to a question,
Do we really care?

Pages of irrelevant words,
With opinion by the score,
Will the paper become extinct?
It looks like a dinosaur.

Fine Before Seven Rain after Eleven!

Posted on October 4, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

Car boot sales are totally dependent on the weather. Even the slightest shower of rain in this part of the UK will send buyers scurrying for their cars, game over! This season hasn’t been kind on the weather front, when rain has been forecast it has usually been on a Saturday. This has a serious effect on visitors to the sales. At the time of writing it is 05:30 on a Saturday morning, who knows what awaits me down the road…

They’re queuing in a field just east of Baldock,
On a Saturday morning well before seven!
Their vehicles are all full of many surprises,
They’re queuing to attend car boot sale heaven!
The forecasters haven’t done it any sort of justice,
They’re forecasting rain soon after eleven,
Don’t they know that this is Home Counties?
Where it doesn’t rain as much as in Devon!

A Farmer’s Idea of ‘An Evening Out!’

Posted on October 3, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

This time of year, when we are busy cultivating on the farm, it is dark by about 7pm. Worried by the threat of bad weather forecast for next week, I decided to put in a few extra hours. Whilst plodding up and down the field my mind wandered and I came up with this verse…

A local farmer, short and stout,
Told his wife, he was spending, the evening out!
“I’ll be back, but it’ll be late,
You could leave some supper on a plate!”
His wife who was neat and uncommonly kind,
Said to him, “I really don’t mind!”
As she knew there was no other distractor,
The ‘Other Woman’ was his tractor!

Replacement Parts!

Posted on October 2, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

Yesterday I replaced some wearing parts on the plough. These parts, whilst important in helping to turn over the soil, also protect other parts of the plough body. While I was struggling with unhelpful nuts, dropped spanners and missing bolts, I considered what we could do with this technology in humans! I then realized that much of it mirrored modern medical advancements…

A friend of mine has new knees,
He now leaps tall buildings, cars and trees!
I was wondering what I’d replace,
Maybe feet, hands or face!

But I came to a conclusion,
In my case would be no solution,
Like the scarecrow in the Wizzard of Oz
I’d like a new brain, just because…!

The Blame Game!

Posted on October 1, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

How often these days do we hear an aggrieved party lay the blame elsewhere? We live in a society where everything is someone else’s fault and if no person can be found to shoulder the blame, ‘Society’ will do! From the cradle to the grave, we’re all at it…

My grandaughter’s cat,
Is called ‘Min’,
Despite eating well,
She’s still thin!
She spends much time,
Away from the house,
To the detriment,
Of many a mouse.
Sometimes she’s.
A little wild,
“Min did it!”
Says the wailing child…

Despite the cat being nowhere in sight!