Thankfully there is very little lifting on farms these days. Gone are the days of struggling up a ladder into a granary with harvest on your back in the shape of an enormous ‘railway sack’ weighing as much as a colleague. The hardest task now is likely to be using a large spanner or replacing a wheel. It may be easier times but other skills are required…

I’ve been playing Big-Bag Stacking,
With half-tonne bags of seed,
To pick them off the lorry,
A steady drive you need.

Reversing through the doorway,
Watching forward and back.
Careful as you’re turning,
In case you tear a sack.
Then it’s down to stacking,
One above the other.
Making sure they’re level,
Or you’ll cry “Dear mother!”

You may think that’s the end,
Celebrating – right?
Next morning is just chaos,
They’ve fallen overnight!
© Baldock Bard 2012
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above

The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues every Saturday at 7am until October 13th!

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There are times when good tractor lights are invaluable! On Saturday night John filled his coffee flask and worked through the night to beat forecasted heavy rain. The difference in ploughing when dry and when wet is enormous when it comes to breaking down the land before planting the new crop. But you never know if forecasted heavy rain will arrive…

Sunday morning when most were asleep
Party-goers crawled home to their beds
Tractor lights shone in the furthest of fields
Dust rose from the large tyre treads

John was ploughing right through the night
Hoping to beat forecast rain
When he was finished it was back to his bed
Job done in the next harvest chain!

Bated breath was held to see if worth
Working into the night
By midday the rain was to stay
Proving to all he was right!

Well done John!
© Baldock Bard 2012
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above

The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues every Saturday at 7am until October 20th!

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Have you ever suffered from evaporating chocolate? Yesterday morning while preparing the books for the accountant I was shocked to find that some chocolate had evaporated inside the wrapper while I sat at my desk. I will be writing to the manufacturers to voice my very real concerns that I have discovered what was, up to now, a physical impossibility. If you have had suffered too, please let me know. There are reports, so far unconfirmed, that evaporation has been a problem with some opened bottles of wine. The problem may not be unique to me…

I had to do the accounts
I was prisoner of deliberation
In order to ease the fearsome task
I opened up a Celebration

I had just reconciled bank statements
I thought I’d deserved just one
In a shot it hit the spot
Taste buds over run!

I checked through all the bills
Discovered some had gone astray
I had to steady up my nerves
No chocolate rationing today!

I shall have to ask the accountant
Can I set chocolate against my tax?
It is surely Tax efficient
As it’s my food not just snacks!

Empty wrappers sit on my desk
I now feel under the weather
The evidence has now disappeared
Thanks to my office shredder!

I shall have to get in touch with those nice people at Sweet Paradise in St Neots (http://www.sweetparadise.co.uk) so they can send reinforcements before the situation gets out of hand!

© Baldock Bard 2012
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above

The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues every Saturday at 7am until October 13th!
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BootLine: 07852 707 074
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The Lister Hospital, Stevenage

It’s not often that you truly appreciate what you have. It is human nature to see the other man’s grass as being always greener. Yesterday I was taxi driver for a hospital outpatient’s visit. While waiting, I realised that in certain countries many of those present may not have received treatment due to cost. Although not perfect, the National Health Service must be better than the alternative…

Many often complain
About the NHS
They say that it’s unwieldy
And littered with excess

Our doctors and nurses work long hours
Caring for one and all
Whether young or old or middle aged
Seriously ill or just a fall

I heard a story recently
From a foreign A&E
Injured child was turned away
No free service there you see

We know there are too many clipboards
Wandering around the place
We know the value of front-line staff
They are the caring face

Let’s count our blessings while we can
And not make such a fuss
Thanks to the imperfect NHS
The alternative’s not for us

Dedicated to all the frontline staff who are there for us when we need them most and to all new nurses and doctors (especially Angharad about to start her nursing career in the A&E department of a large North Wales hospital following the successful conclusion of her university career), we wish them all well.

© Baldock Bard 2012
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above

The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues every Saturday at 7am until October 13th!

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BootLine: 07852 707 074
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Sometimes we just need something that makes us smile. Today, 19^th September is ‘International Talk Like a Pirate Day!’ and so I offer you this from a seasoned landlubber. Shiver me timbers, hoist the Jolly Roger and follow the Baaaaard for a little pirating…

“Yo Ho Ho! Me Buccaneer’s
It’s ‘Talk like a Pirate Day’
Me hearty’s need some cheering up
While they ships lie safe in the bay!”

“Don’t spill the grog me Hearty – it’s a landlubber pirate party!”

“We be flyin the Jolly Roger
Lookin for Galleons to flog
We be loaded to the gunwales
An missed them due to the fog!”

“Don’t spill the grog Hearty – it’s a pirate party!”

“We ended up in Baldock
With bagfuls of pieces of eight
We tried both High Street banks
They were closed, we were late!”

“Don’t spill Hearty – it’s a landlubber party!”

“We set sail for the Capital
(right down the A1m)
We broke our mast at Stevenage
Won’t go there again!”

“Don’t spill a party!”

So shiver me timbers!
Cat o’ nine tails,
We’re crap at being pirates
We’ll stick to boot sales!

“Don’t shpill ze grog me Farty – ish a Randfubber pirache parchty!”

By the powers I must thank shipmate Ailsa for reminding me, ye be having a glass of grog on me – Shiver me timbers!

© Baldock Bard 2012
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above

The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues every Saturday at 7am until October 13th!

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BootLine: 07852 707 074
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