Gold Medal Surprise!

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A gold medal in tennis? Murray has a human side – again? Murray and Robson win silver in the pairs? Has the world been turned upside down? Time to celebrate…

I turned on the TV
I couldn’t believe my eyes
They’ll have to rename the place Win-bledon
What a Gold surprise!

© Baldock Bard 2012
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Telford Dave’s Games!

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The Olympics have impacted on many people’s lives. For the last two weeks Dave from Telford has been at the Boot Sale. At first I thought he just happened to be on holiday ‘Down South’ but discovered that he is on a very different mission…

For the last two weeks ‘Telford Dave’ did appear
If it weren’t for the Olympics he wouldn’t be here
Not here for the swimming athletics or shootin’
But to spot the aircraft at Stansted and Luton!
Some of the plane’s numbers are incredibly rare
And that’s why he’s spending so much time there
He’s spotted Heads of State and some VIP’s
Some unique numbers have made him so pleased
To him an important time in his life
All thanks to his kids and most patient wife!

© Baldock Bard 2012
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues next Saturday morning at 7am!


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Disgusted of Baldock?

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“I am disgusted to learn…” can be found weekly in the letters column of all local newspapers. It’s always best to check facts first before assumptions are made. This week, one of the busiest ever for Union Jack-waving, French and German flags appeared in Baldock High Street. Before rushing to put pen to paper I checked…

French and German flags fly in Baldock
Colourful against the sky
Various people became concerned
And paused to look and wonder why!

So I rang a local Councilor
Helpfully he explains
That twin-town folk are guests in Baldock
Here to visit the Olympic Games!

He helped to answer all the questions
About our Euro-brothers
The Union Jack flies on the church
(Of course much higher than both the others!)
GO TEAM GB!
You’re Making Us So Proud!
(Medals table Friday Evening 3rd August 2012) 

 © Baldock Bard 2012
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues this morning at 7am!

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The Man with the Golden Gun!

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Having never shined at sports I am envious of those who do.  None more so than in sports I have tried. Missing clays with a twelve-bore gun is easy, hitting them consistently is something I’ve never even come within a country-mile of achieving. Peter Wilson, Gold medallist in the Twin-trap Shooting, you are remarkable …

Just when some were saying
It was over for Team GB
Not just one gold medal
Today they managed three!

I’ve no idea what it’s like
To sprint down a track
Or tackle swirling torrents
Team-mate at your back

Or hurtle round an oval
On two skinny wheels
Or win by a tenth of a second
I don’t know how it feels

But watching a young farmer
Shooting at the clays
I couldn’t have hit that number
Given six or seven days!

They are tricky little muckers
Seldom overrun
So Peter Wilson from Dorset
You’re the man with the Golden Gun!

Congratulations from fellow-farmer Baldock Bard!

© Baldock Bard 2012
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues tomorrow morning at 7am!


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Flying a Kite!

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Some friends are camping in one of our fields. In this uber-technological world we are so dazzled by the latest must-have bit or byte that we often forget simple pleasures. It is also the perfect antidote to a day spent in front of a computer. Give it a go sometime. It’s good to go back…

The old kite comes out of the shed
It’s hidden in there for ages
Unloved
Unkempt
Devoid of flight
Like a book without turned pages

But watch it soar into the sky
The wind beneath its wing
The shouts
The laughter
The oohs and aahs!
The joy simplicity can bring!

© Baldock Bard 2012
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues next Saturday morning at 7am!


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Tempus Fugit!

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We are all living longer – undisputed fact! However debate is beginning to creep under the door in certain quarters as to the quality of life for the elderly. I remember a former teacher telling me shortly after her 105th birthday that life was fine but she’d outlived all her friends. It is the portion of life of which none of us dare to speak…

Doris and Madge meet each week
At the community centre where they speak
About the past about their lives
When they were happy contented wives

They never discuss their numerous ills
Or the problem they have paying the bills
Or the grandchildren’s behaviour they don’t understand
A lonely retirement wasn’t what they’d planned

Mid afternoon when the washing-up’s done
They take their leave they’ve had some fun
With the final remnants of a youthful streak
They slow-race their walkers down the High Street!

© Baldock Bard 2012
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues next Saturday morning at 7am!


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The Wine Snob!

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When it comes to wine I admit I know nothing. A distant relation used to be able to tell not only where the wine was from, but also from which vineyard it came and what year it was bottled! However there are also those who know nothing but profess to knowing everything…

I have a friend
His name is Bob
There’s just one problem
He’s a wine snob

Now I don’t care
Where a wine is grown
For all I care
Could be Baldock or Rome!

When he last came
On the sideboard did spy
A ‘rare’ bottle of wine
“Please, oh please, can I try?”

I poured it out
He sniffed the wine
Made gurgling sounds
“This is so fine!”

“A little bottle
I picked up somewhere!”
That it was from Tesco
He was unaware!

He now thinks that
The wine at my table
Is much researched
– I choose by label!

© Baldock Bard 2012

For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues next Saturday morning at 7am!


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Official Taster!

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The secret of success with haymaking is the taste! Apart from a recipe for cooking lamb in hay it is rare to find it in a recipe book. However we now have an Official Taster…

Dolly the horse was excited
She sometimes gets that way
She looked into the barn
And it was full of hay

“I was just wondering if,”
She said with some surprise
“I might become an official taster,
To check your hay supplies?”

We gave her a handful of the finest
She sniffed and gave a snort
In an instant it was insider her
She spent some time in thought

“There’s the slightest hint of clover
Of timothy a merest taste
I’d better finish all the bale
Would hate it to go to waste!”

DOLLY-TESTED HAY IS AVAILABLE NOW!
CONTACT THE BARD
(contact details below)

© Baldock Bard 2012
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues next Saturday morning at 7am!


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Olympic Armchair!

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The Olympics are here and I am rooted to the armchair in front of the wide-screen. Sports that would normally hold my attention for less than two minutes have become must-not-miss events. Such is the concentration and effort needed, that I have been known to be quite out of breath at numerous finishing lines. Yet again Mrs Bard despairs at both my slovenly pose and non-Olympic body…

My Armchair Stadium waits for me
Right in front of my wide-screen TV
Twenty-six sports over sixteen days
I’ll get my exercise in so many ways
Yesterday I cycled with the men’s team down in Surrey
Having already rowed some heats without worry
Last night found me swimming in the Olympic Pool
I swam every length didn’t get wet at all
At last I went to bed exhausted with all the strain
This morning I’m up and ready to go through it again!

© Baldock Bard 2012
With many thanks to Alastair Pawsey for permission to use the photo taken in the Olympic Park

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Our Moment to Shine!

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This morning it is Great to be British. They say it’s the greatest show in Earth and we know do ceremony better than any other nation. Last night was a British triumph and the thanks of the nation should go to all those involved in making the London Opening Ceremony so spectacular. A special mention here of the late Edward Tufton who used to live in our tiny village of Clothall and helped design the stadium but never got to see its opening also our very own P.T. who was in on the first HD news broadcast from the Olympic complex on Thursday by the BBC.

Last night instead of doing sensible
I stayed up until almost one
Alarm four hours later no regret
An opening ceremony that was fun?

Being British we should have known
Those of us with doubt consumed
That part of our national psyche
Is the way we act all foredoomed

Forget the cost and confusion
Given some luck all will be fine
There will always be some cock-ups
But now is our moment to shine!

We bemoaned the cost
We bemoaned the torch
We bemoaned the Olympic lanes
The press led the outcry with articles
And fanned the dissenting flames

An American had the gall to criticize
How dare he poke fun at GB
We British are the greatest at ceremony
We just do it without “Look at Me!’

Last night we shrugged off uncertainty
And showed the world what we can do
The queen appeared with James Bond
Bradley Wiggins rang the bell too!

Yesterday dawned ‘rather cloudy’
Bells large and small they did ring
London’s ceremony laid down the marker
Now the Games can begin!

© Baldock Bard 2012
With many thanks to Alastair Pawsey for permission to use the photo taken in the Olympic Park
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues next Saturday morning at 7am!


www.u-boot.co.uk
BootLine: 07852 707 074
E-mail: baldockbard(at)u-boot.co.uk
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